A major part of my life is spent freaking out because I don't think that people like me. I don't like that part of myself, but it's there. I used to not care at all - it didn't matter to me at all. That's changed in the past 15 years or so. It bothers me a lot. I feel like there's not a solid reason for people to like me.
And the main reason I think people don't like me is because I'm not _____ enough.
Funny enough.
Smart enough.
Pretty enough.
Articulate enough.
Cool enough.
Rich enough.
I am not a superlative and I have a hard time with that. A painfully hard time with that. I marvel, sometimes, that people are friends with me. Because why? I'm not the best at anything.
And when I'm feeling really low and hateful toward myself? I wonder how other people who are the best have people who like them and I don't.
--sputtering--
ReplyDeleteYou absolutely are too funny, smart, articulate and cool. I don't know what you look like or what your bank balance is, but I doubt that you're hideous or homeless.
How much is "enough?" I find it hard to believe that there aren't plenty of occasions where you are the snappiest, funniest, sharpest person in the room.
If not, you need to start hanging out with duller people. -snerk- Works for me.
Well I like you, but nobody in real life likes me either, so I don't know if that goes into the credit or debit column.
ReplyDelete