Friday, December 14, 2007

Learning Stuff About Myself

I'm finally home after a long day out and I'm tired. Still have some work to do, but I'm thrilled to be home.

Which is weird, because growing up, the last place I EVER wanted to be was home.

It took me a while to realize that being at home - MY HOME, that I created - didn't have to suck. In my house, I could create a space that I liked. It's still a work in progress, but it's still mine.

Right now, there are papers covering every available space (including the ottoman and part of the couch) but I'm glad I'm here.

*****

One of the things I did today was start physical therapy for my knee (and feet). My knee tends to buckle - it feels like it's no longer there. So one of the things the PT did was use electrical stimulation on the area around my knee. This completely freaked me out. Which kind of freaked out the people around me. I explained that I suffer from crippling anxiety and was afraid I'd die or something, and they were very nice about it. One woman said she'd be right next to me in the next cube. Another gave me a bell in case I needed her.

That was weird. I very seldom tell people about my anxiety because I feel like such an idiot, but it felt good to let them know and even if they do think I'm a freak? Well, what else is new?

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