I just spent the past hour worrying about whether or not I have a concussion:
- Are my pupils the same size? How can I tell when I look in the mirror and see it reflecting back at me??? Would my neighbor think I was insane for asking her to look at my pupils? Probably. Fuck. Back to the mirror.
- Am I nauseous? Or is it hunger? And what the hell am I supposed to make for lunch?
- Am I losing consciousness? Or am I tired? Or am I tired because I am losing consciousness?
- Does one side of my body feel paralyzed? Is my sinus paralyzed? Or is it reacting to the fresh air from the open windows.
- Am I dizzy? Or am I persistently confused? [Quick! What's 7 x 7? Stuff she KNOWS!]
- Am I having trouble walking?
- Do I have a headache? The contact point isn't hurting, but I guess I feel the faint traces of a headache.
- Does my neck hurt? Is it from spending the morning typing or is it from the blow to the head?
I know I should just start doing something physical [like clean. or go for a walk] and then I will forget about this [or I will die, you never know], but I hate when the anxiety gets such a strong foothold that it's almost impossible to shake. It makes it that much harder to move on from this crazy. It's exhausting.
I'm going to go lay down.
Shit. I can't. I guess I'll make some lunch. Because I don't think cleaning is good for a concussion.