Downer

I've had a long, boring day.

I did have all sorts of funny blog post ideas.  They've disappeared into the ether.  I didn't have the wherewithal to make notes or post them as I thought of them.

Instead, I've been feeling meh.  Not happy.  Not miserable.  Not thrilled. 

I'm glad I'm not weepy and angsty all the time.  I just wish I didn't feel so blah.  When I feel that way, I start to worry that I'll get depressed again.  I hated that.  I can't even say how much.  It was a miserable, miserable time.  And any deviation from gogogogo makes me worry that I'll be mired in it again.

I've not been sleeping well, and I'm not working out like I had been even last week, and I'm tired of going to bed at midnight or one and getting up at three and then getting up at five and watching a movie and then going back to sleep at seven and then sleeping until nine and then feeling like the day has passed me by.

So I'm trying to be positive.  I'm actually better about not freaking out over everything and letting things just happen.  That's a big step and I'm pretty proud of that.

I don't know.  This post is lame.