Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Ah, Suburbia

We live in the suburbs.  Not one of those fancy gated communities, and not one of those quaint little towns where there's a town square and all sorts of Stars Hollow-esque activities.

Nope, we live smack dab in the middle of a city that was created solely for people to live in while they worked downtown.

It's a nice city.  Kinda religious.  Kinda boring.  But with an excellent school system and lots of parks and tree lined streets.

And people, particularly retirees, who are, well, a wee bit insane about their yards.  Like, come over and talk to you about your weed problem and how to deal with it, and maybe you should just add some more fertilizer when you prep your lawn for the winter [what? I thought the snow did that.].  It's a gamble, some days, going outside to get your mail.  Will you be able to pick up this week's issue of Entertainment Weekly before Retiree Guy catches you and asks you what you're planning on doing with the barren spot in the front lawn? 

We are not yard people.  Our yard looks great, now, because my family spent several weeks this summer helping us dig up a 4-6 foot area completely circling the house and replant the honest to god thousands of bulbs and numerous plants and oh, yeah, that tree [sure, it was a tree, but it was a small one].  I know when we went to the greenhouse and started the project, the owners' eyes turned into dollar signs and all they could hear was kaching!

But it's done and we have a tiny, sparsely leafed tree in our front yard.  I'm thinking of adding another to the barren spot [would that make you happy, Neighbors? I'm sure it would.], but this would double down our leaf production, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

Although the husband and I did come up with a GREAT idea that will surely cause our neighbors to love us without reservation:

We're going to take leaf blowers, and, each of use one a side of the street, walk down the street, blowing leaves back onto people's lawns.  In the middle of the night.

It'll make us laugh and give them something to do when they have to re-rake their lawns.

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So this is obviously a post for Word Up, Yo!  And it's a new kind of challenge, one where we're recruiting.  I sat we're because in case you didn't notice my fancy button over there ------> on my sidebar, I'm a Made Man in the Nerd Mafia.  Yes.  I fucking rock.

Anyway, since I know you want to be like me [who doesn't?], you now have the opportunity to join up by joining in the challenge and help me move up in the ranks!

To have a post count in the recruitment challenge it must:

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Use any of the Vegas themed words below. As always, the best post gets jumped in to our cozy little Mafia Family.



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  1. I have to admit - I've lived my entire life in suburbia and your version of suburbia kinda sounds like what I image small towns to be like. Religious, forced to talk to neighbors, deep lawn focus - clearly I'm just not doing suburbia right!

  2. Oh, I so could've written this. Yeah, suburbia, yeah, the hairy eyeball from the neighbors with the perfect lawns.

    What the F am I doing here? Across the street, their undies are all up their arses b/c our leaves blew onto their lawns, (cuz we haven't raked yet) and the dude came out with his pink oxford shirt on and his Leafblower to blow the leaves back at us!

    DUDE! Get some real probs!

  3. We do have a beautiful yard in the spring and summer. But you get that by leaving the foot of leaves on to protect the flower and plants all winter.

    At least thats the theory.

  4. i guess there are benefits to having a freeway in your back yard... not having to talk to the neighbors.

  5. Answer to Retiree Guy: "Bury you under it."

  6. I'm gonna be honest and say I love this post!! What you and your husband laughed about doing to the neighbors sounds exactly like something we would do too!


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