Stop moving my fucking cheese*

Surprise, I have control issues.

Usually these are confined to my own life [and, let's be honest, the husband and the girl, but I'm really, really working on that.  Especially for the girl.  The husband knew what he was getting into.], but occasionally this will spread to the world at large, where I need people to STOP FUCKING AROUND with stuff that I think is within my purview.  There's no hard and fast rule as to what I need to control, but here is something that people really, really need to leave the fuck alone:

Feta Cheese

This is appropriate - a simple slice of feta cheese.

Seriously.  Just stop it.

Yes, it's delicious, and yes it would, in theory, make everything better, but JUST STOP.  Stop adding it to all kinds of bullshit things.  YOU ARE RUINING FETA CHEESE.

Here are some things you CAN do with feta cheese:

• Eat it with bread
• Eat it with bread and kalamata olives
• Add it to select recipes, like Mediterranean Brown Rice Salad [recipe coming up for you, Simone], or spinach pie
• Maybe, if I'm feeling generous, add it to your pizza, but don't hold your breath, because it's probably not going to happen

Here is what you CANNOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD do with feta cheese:

• Eat it with other kinds of olives
• Add it to pasta salad, or potato salad,  or mashed potatoes
• Make a watermelon and feta salad - I am barfing just thinking about this, sorry Greece
• Add it to your pizza - you know, just be on the safe side here, and don't do it

Feta is a sublime thing.  Stop fucking it up.  Stop making me hate you, world.

Anyway, here's the recipe:

Suniverse Approved Mediterranean Brown Rice Salad
I'm not including any measurements, because this is something you can make with as much or as little of an ingredient as you'd like.  Also, as you may be aware, I don't measure. My guesses are included in brackets.

Brown rice, cooked - this can be warm or cold, it's really good either way [Let's say 3 cups, cooked]
Feta cheese, crumbled [1/2 cup?]
Kalamata olives, chopped [1/2 cup?]
Spinach, julienned [1/2 cup?]
Red pepper, diced [1/2 cup?]
Red onion, diced [1/4 cup?]
Carrots, chopped [1/2 cup?]

Add cheese and vegetables to the rice, and mix together in a large bowl. Add vinaigrette [recipe follows] and stir to coat.  EAT EAT EAT.

Vinaigrette
Red wine vinegar [Balsamic is also good]
Olive oil
Spicy or Dijon mustard
Salt
Pepper
Garlic
Oregano [optional]
Honey

I really can't even give you guesses as to how much of each ingredient I use for the vinaigrette - it goes by feel and taste for me.  More oil than vinegar, start small on the spices, taste it as you go along.
Mix all of these ingredients together in a container and shake shake shake [your booty].  Adjust seasonings to your taste.

This salad is so very good - and it's even better as lunch the next day, once the flavors have married.
------------------------------- 
*It should not surprise you to know that I've never actually read that book Who Moved My Cheese, because, seriously.