Stop laughing.
I'm pretty easy to get along with because I am a pretty friendly person - I mean, I'm not in love with people or humanity in general, but I am very polite [to your face] and a big believer in doing the right thing and behaving properly when out in public. If I happen to go home and bitch about what a shitty driver you are or tweet things about how fucking stupid boys are, that in no way negates the fact that I will follow every protocol and treat you with respect.
I will make small talk.
I will act like your idiocy doesn't appall me.
I will nod and agree when you complain about kids these days and their rock music.
I will go out of my way to include you, particularly if your inclusion is the right thing to do.
That being said, don't ever, ever fucking cross me.
Ever.
There are two things that make me insane with anger* and which will make you dead to me:
1. Being called a liar**
2. Being called out for not being polite.
When those things are combined?
Oh.
My.
Fucking.
God.
I will end you.
It turns out that this weekend I found out that this situation occurred.
I'm not going to get into the who/what/when/where of it all, but I will say that the WHY is because some people are complete fucking narcissistic idiots.
And so I found myself on the horns of a dilemma:
A. Correct the record, explain the truth, drop some motherfucking knowledge on people in an explosion of fact and fury
OR
B. Just let it go
I'm having a REALLY, REALLY hard time letting it go, even though I know that option A is NOT really an option.
So I've been seething and bitching and then remembering that I need to set and example and then getting pissed off even more, because the husband is not a satisfactory person to bitch to.
So here is my query, friends:
What do you do when you find yourself impugned? Chemical warfare or the high road?
--------------
* Recognize that quote? It's Mel Gibson's character in Signs. Excellent movie - wtf, Mel? WHY SUCH A RACIST, CRAZYBAG TOOL?
** A subtopic is being told I'm wrong when I KNOW and empirical evidence WILL SHOW that I am right. I am still pissed that this guy I was dating over 20 years ago thought that Eberhard Faber was a silent film star and not a pencil. IT'S A PENCIL!!!
 |
| SEE? JACKASS! Source. |
Ahh! We are soul mates, truly. LOL
ReplyDeleteMy friends, whom I love fiercely, always say to me, "I'm SOOO glad you're my friend - I'd be terrified to be your enemy." HAHA
The thing that sets me off is the "she said this" bullshit. I CAN'T believe we still have to deal with this crap - I'm not 13 anymore. Ahhh. Drives me totally off the deep end with rage.
PS. Come over to my place and get yer very own STD - I promise it won't burn when you pee.
Napalm that bitch, with the softest voice and the most unblinkingest scary eyes, and tell some truth. It's the only way some people learn. Fuck the moral high ground - life's too short.
ReplyDeleteSarah xxx
War, no doubt about it. The one who wronged you needs to be taught a lesson. Release your fury. Damn, wish I could be there to see it!
ReplyDeleteSeething on your behalf,
Alison
Hm. Anger. Yeah. It is EXHAUSTING! Freaking exhausting. I go bananas when people treat me like I'm an idiot. Never treat me like I'm an idiot. Then I have to put my crazy pants on.
ReplyDeleteOoooh. Tough call. If A is TRULY not an option, then why list it?
ReplyDeleteIf option A does have wiggle room, then perhaps it's time for you to get wormy....
Any post that contains the phrase "I will end you" instantly becomes one of my all-time favorites!
ReplyDeleteFor me - I opt for psychological warfare. You know, get in their head, make the offending party think they are crazy. It's usually not too hard, since they were likely already crazy.
I'm known to argue with whoever has crossed me roughly 5-8 hours after the confrontation has taken place... Oh and my argument is just me shouting things I might have said if I had the guts to (all of which are ass kicking in awesomeness btw). But, yeah, I rarely confront. Because I'm gutless. However, if I did have the guts to verbally take someone out - I totally would.
ReplyDeleteEmail me for some killer lines to use at your disposal.
This is what you do:
ReplyDeletefind out the story behind what happened.
Lots of times, there's more to it.
BUT: sometimes not.
EMail me, and
Then, we'll talk.
it's times like this when being a southern-raised woman comes in handy. i tend to favor ruining people who cross me like this, but i do so with the utmost of passive-aggressive sweetness. i mean, hell; i'm from the part of the world where "bless your heart" is either the sweetest thing you could say or a total condemnation.
ReplyDeletei do think you can take a middle path here; there's a way to bring attention and correct the problem without completely going balls-out (metaphorically) crazy. that might be the best strategy. people shouldn't be granted license to be horrible like that. people like this should be taken to task.
I've found that trying to set the record straight never works out. they never truly hear you, especially if they're as narcissistic as you say. SO, what I would do is pick a friend to play the part of the assholes that hurt you and scream and yell and say everything you want to. it doesn't make it ALL go away, but I always feel a little better.
ReplyDeleteI sent the record straight today in the clearest, most professional manner I could muster. And I emailed it to everybody but the prez of our company. Not nearly as satisfying as screaming the f word at him but I got my point across. I plan on reiterating the message EVERY F'IN time I get a chance. He f'ed up & tried to pin it on me.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time letting go too...such a hard time. I tend to let it seethe and eat at me, especially when there is no other option.
ReplyDeleteYou're a much nicer person than me by the way...just sayin'
OMG, you and me are the same person, you just use the F word more often.
ReplyDeleteThis is SO my mantra on life! I will be so nice to people, even though I may think some of their choices are ridiculous and dumb. But hell to the no if someone gets in my face. THAT'S when I have zero tolerance.
I know in my head to let things go, but that doesn't mean I do. I'm so not the person to ask.
I go directly to Defcon 5: Thermonuclear Warfare.
ReplyDeleteWhy is A not an option? I must have missed something.
ReplyDelete(Too busy watching Signs, perhaps?)
It's hard to swallow fury. But I do agree that narcissists don't listen or care.
Crap. I'm good for nothing.
Apparently.
I love you people. I really do.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to just go DefCon5 on these people, but part of it is that I don't think they'd listen [as mentioned above] and part of it is that they are in-laws and while I am a HUGE believer in acting right, I am not a shit stirrer, which is what would end up happening.
That being said?
YOU ALL FUCKING ROCK.
Seriously. This has been a big help.
Make sure any shit that is stirred is stirred in a way that it can't be made into a "he said/she said" situation. Either do it in writing or do it with all concerned present.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, it leaves your hands much, much cleaner and limits the extent of the damage to you and those you love.
I'm a new reader but feel like you may, in fact BE me and that maybe I wrote this post when drunk and forgot all about it.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, since it's in-laws I would suggest waiting until you 'reel yourself back in'. Then set them straight in a matter-of-fact way that's relatively free of excess emotion, but that demonstrates in no uncertain terms that if they pull this shit again it will be their heads on a pike.
I greatly believe that if someone pisses you off this much, they shouldn't get off scott free. Why should they not feel any discomfort out of the situation with an awkward "call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place" kind of conversation? Even the most self-absorbed narcissist will feel uncomfortable (if not scared) in one of those conversations if you do it right.
Best of luck and let us know if Option A or Option B is the victor.
I guess it depends on where I am in my cycle. I kid.
ReplyDeleteYour temperament sounds much like mine. I'm pretty even keeled, but when someone crosses the line with something like twisting the truth or calling me something I am not, I have a hard time taking the high road.
With everything else, I love to kill them with kindness. That seriously irritates people that don't like you.
Take 'em up ON the high road and dump napalm on their ass.
ReplyDeleteI love the smell of napalm in the morning.....
Ummm... blog about it? That must help a little right? Also— sometimes things happen in surprising ways. I was forced to "let go" of something eight years ago and just last week, the universe delivered an apology and quite possibly a check (or at least the person admitting that a check was owed). Also, I realized that "the incident" had been haunting the other person way more than it had me.
ReplyDeleteI vote— let it go. It will make you feel better than the alternative which I promise— will not go as planned.
I hate that there's no payoff for being a good person. It's like when you sprain your ankle while working out. I WAS MOTHERFUCKING EXERCISING. STOP PUNISHING ME.
ReplyDeleteNice article, thanks for the information.
ReplyDeleteTen times worse when it's family! I have a sister like that. I'm getting pissed off just thinking about it. Sigh. How about You go nuclear on my family, and I'LL do it for you.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten in some truly horrible fights with my sister growing up, but the absolute worst one was when we argued over song-lyrics (I haven't a clue what song it was). The reason it was so bad was that we knew that one of us was right & the other one was wrong, but nobody wanted to admit the mere possibility that they were wrong.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember the song, I don't remember the lyrics, I don't remember who won, but I remember a rollerskate being thrown at my head.
Over song-lyrics, something that we both should have been able to "just let go."
Ugh. I hate having to swallow my anger. It sucks and is not nearly as gratifying as ending someone. Hang in there!
ReplyDeletePS I thought of you when there was a GP question on Jeopardy last night, pertaining to the fact that she keeps her Oscar in storage because she "doesn't want that thing in her house". The first word out of my mouth? "Bitch". I mean, seriously. How many actors would kill for an Oscar? YOU ARE NOT TOO COOL FOR THAT GP!!!!
Just punch the bastard. I must admit that I do sometimes lie but I'm totally polite about it.
ReplyDeleteYour blog kicks blog ass.
I have commenced stalking.
Colie
First- yes yes yes, I totally agree with and live in this world you have shared, and hate this too, 2. it amazes me that so many people encounter these same problems.
ReplyDeleteI have come to terms with the idea that because I don't mince words or opinions, don't sugar coat it, that no matter what comes out of my mouth, people are predisposed to looking for any little evidence to support their stupid theory that I am a ball buster. For me its simple- three strikes and your out. I am sorority girls sweet the first time someone acts like an ass or tries to pull something over on me, the second time, I am all business. By Strike three- I will smack a bxtch.
HOWEVER- and I mean "however" in the sense of if someone wants to experience great vengeance and furious anger- Go ahead and ask me for my legal opinion and then tell me why I am wrong, or CHANGE YOUR FAULKING FACT PATTERN TO AVOID THE CONCLUSION I HAVE JUST DRAWN, because then I will shank a bxtch. Faulking shanked while I smile and say "its the one that says bad mothra faulker, beeotch you owe me $350. For my time."
not you personally- ahem.
geebus, I should probably have blogged about this instead of commenting. still reading? whoa.
The high road is ruining my life this week. I HATE being a good example.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hear ya! It is so very hard for me to not go ape-o on someone who is calling me a liar. Or lying about ME.
ReplyDelete