Tuesday, June 14, 2011

An Area for Concern . . . Or Maybe . . . What Now?

I'm a little worried about myself.

I know, when AREN'T I worried about myself?


The past few days I've gotten a little . . . forgetful.  More forgetful than usual.

I spent several minutes wandering around the parking lot the other day, trying to find my car.

I keep mistyping things.

I'm always forgetting words.  The ones I'm trying to say.  You know, "Hey, can you give me the . . . thing . . . you know, that thing . . . that I need," which usually ends up being something as esoteric as the remote control or a napkin.

Plus, there's the usual stumbling and bumping into the walls that I do.  Which I wouldn't worry about too much, except it seems like it's getting worse.  Whereas I used to just walk into the corner of the wall on my way into the bathroom, now it seems like the coffee table is out to get me, as is the dishwasher and, frankly, the side of the car. 

I'm fervently hoping that the Alzheimers gene floating in my paternal pool isn't making a spectacularly early entrance.  I realize that I've got a lot on my plate right now, and I'm sure you're all forgetful, too, right? RIGHT? PLEASE SAY YES!!!  It's probably just a passing thing, one that will disappear when I get a few minutes to just focus on one thing at a time.

Except - I actually worried the other day that I wasn't getting dressed completely before I left the house. You know? You're in a rush and you think, o.k., I'm good to go and then I ended up in the car thinking, "Did I put on underwear?" And then I checked under the waistband and found I did, but that moment of not knowing? TERRIFIED ME.  Because I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I head out in just my bra, and not a cute one.

Also, I find that I'm tempted to start staying things like, "You're motherfucking goddamn right," or "Hiya, Cuntface." 

Actually, I'm kind of o.k. with that.


  1. OMG - it took me about 2 minutes yesterday to remember the word for WAGON. What.the.fuck.

  2. This is me, all the time, forever, since I got pregnant with Alex. So I think you're fine.

  3. True Story. I said this:

    "What is the clock? You know, the hour? What is the frickin clock o'clock? The clock, the watch... the hour... WHAT'S THE FUCKING NUMBER OF THE DAY???"

    So please, my darling cuntface friend, do not start freaking out about Alzheimers until you cannot remember your own name, or you can no longer tell the number of the day. You are just fine.

    Sarah xxx

  4. I wondered if i had done too many drugs when i was younger the other day that fried my brain. But then I couldn't remember what exactly i did. Its all fuzzy.... I cant remember anything anymore

  5. Are you inside my head? I'm forever walking into a rooom only to have to retrace my steps to figure out the reason. And those mystery bruises popping up from all of my walking into things, even my hubby is asking what's up. I have noticed this is all worse with PMS. So I've decided that it's hormones working against me. Or a government conspiracy. Whatever.

  6. It's probably one of those things where you've always been that way, but since you're thinking about it you notice every single little off moment you have. Then, you distract yourself with worrying so you have MORE of those off moments to obsess over it. I'm sure you're fine.

    My mom had moments where she'd walk into a room full of people she'd worked with for years and not be able to remember anyone's name. Terrified her, and turned out to be a hormone imbalance and depression. See a doctor just to put your mind at ease.

  7. I have four kids and call them all by the wrong name. I think one thing and type another. It's like I'm possessed. Really scary. The backspace button is my best friend at the moment. I had more to say, but I already forgot. No seriously I did. On that note, i think it's normal and maybe one day I'll get my brain back before it's too late.

  8. You remembered to click "publish", so you're probably okay.

  9. I think you just have too much on your mind, really!

  10. I'm always dropping things, forgetting things, using the wrong words...and I worry about ridiculous stuff. I'm terrified I'll accidentally decide to leave Target with my basket in hand, without paying. Or I worry I'm wearing two different shoes. Or I worry I will be somewhere without any recollection how I got there. Could it be a female thing or just stress???

  11. I'm so glad that I'm not alone in worrying about the crazy.

    Lady Estrogen - Wagon is such an esoteric word.

    KLZ - I swear, pregnancy is DEBILITATING.

    Misfits Vintage - I cannot stop laughing. Seriously. CANNOT.

    LLA_Princess - It's a concern, sure, now what was I saying?

    Candace - A government conspiracy of hormones. I swear.

    Alli - I think I might have to.

    L.A.C.E. - Ha! I'm sorry, but that's funny.

    Flannery - A true victory.

    Alison - I'm hoping that's it. I really am.

    Kittie Flyn - Either woman thing or stress, it needs to STOP.

  12. I'm not even sure I can complete a sentence without using ummmm, uhhhhhhhhhhh or errrrrrr, while I try to find a fucking word like "phone" in my disorganized array of file folders that are piled in my brain. Thank fucking peanuts, I'll never forget swear words.

  13. As I was reading this I had to remind myself that I didn't write it - because it sounds exactly like me. Just ask the husband. In fact, it got so bad (along with tingly limbs, lips, etc), that I went to the walk-in clinic and they said "GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL, NOW!". When I got there they promptly got me into an MRI machine, only to find out that my brain is unbelievably ABOVE AVERAGE (I had to ask for that in writing knowing no one would believe this). Holes in the brain are a sign of wear and tear, and there didn't appear to be any in the image of my brain. My theory is that I'm just so full of shit it has appeared to fill in all the holes. People who know me agree with this theory.

  14. you crack me up...as I'm reading I'm like what's that big thing of water out there, you know the watery thing...and my husband is all like, "you mean the ocean?" yeah I'm smart like that.

  15. LOL @ Lady E.

    Have you had your thyroid checked? Iron levels? Ah, I'm always, always wondering if full body cancer is slowly closing in on me and I'm not aware of it. I'm tired of thinking about it.

  16. Once upon a time I experienced these very same symptoms of which you speak. Then I had a breakdown and lost my job, which may not sound very encouraging, but at least I remember things now (mostly how broke I am) and I'm not covered in bruises that I can't explain how got there (probably because I rarely get out of bed).

    I should probably stop commenting on people's blogs.

  17. Thank god my wife deals with my absent-mindedness enough to know what I mean when I say things like, "Hey, open the keys. The KEYS - open it! GODDAMIT THE KEYS" when i'm asking her to open the car door.

    I've decided it's a side-effect of awesomeness.

  18. Geez, I call all of that a Tuesday! Maybe I have early onset Alzheimer's too? Actually, I recently read this book by Jonah Leher called How We Decide and one of the interesting things he discusses in it is how we can become very forgetful and clumsy when our brains our overtaken with information. So I got rid of cable (prob not the smartest thing to do). But I'm no longer worrying that I have a brain tumor...well...today...

  19. You just described me, like, everyday. But I drink heavily sooooo.....

  20. I don't what the fuck is going on with me but the f bomb is slipping out over any little thing lately.

    As in, kids come in, say, "mom...I forgot to bring my blahblah to school.."

    Me: "WTF?'


    Bad. Like that.

  21. I agree with the empress...my dirty mouth is beyond lately..bad with 3 yr old twins repeating every goddamn thing!

    That said, I get complex migraines and I have fibromyalgia both of which give u "fog" and let me tell u it does for me, I was scared shitless for months before I realized it was just the "fog"..I thought I'm losing my mind, having a stroke or goijg thway of my grandmothers..none of which made me feel better!
    Hoping a little R&R will help my friend. Xoxo

  22. I was going to comment on this post but I forgot what I was going to say. Damn!

  23. Yesterday I forgot NOT to pick my nose while I was yelling at another driver for being a deuce. And a third driver saw the whole thing. There I was up to my elbow, mouth agape, looking at driver three. All I could do was laugh at myself.

    Its so beyond embarrassing, embarrassing is a "Dot" to me. (yes I use Joey Tribiani as a frame of literary reference, I'm just glad I remember the line anymore.)

  24. When you're reaching for a word but cannot grasp it, I suggest you use the word "unit," just as my 91-year-old grandpa does. When the batteries in the remote control died, he called the maintenance department in his senior apartment complex and said, "Can you come up to my unit? The unit for the unit isn't work."

    Also, it will make you sound absolutely adorable.

  25. i forget names when i'm telling a story, so i like to say "what's his nuts" or "you know, that fucking dude". my toughness overrides the dimentia.

  26. So you know I'm an English teacher, right?

    I'm good with the words and stuff.

    And yet. This one time in college, I had to call my mom to ask her how to spell the word "once." Because I was working the W sound...."wuuuh wuuuuh" and it was just not coming.

    And then just now? While reading your post? I stared at the word mistyping for a good 15 seconds before I could figure that shit out.


    oh. yeah.

    (aren't you glad I'm not teaching your daughter?)

    You're fine. Probably need a nap. Or some blog friends to tell you you're normal.

    Or both.

  27. LOL!!! I love this - Don't worry - I'm sure its just stress:)


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.