Sort of WebMD.

I had an appointment with the ear doctor today - I've had this congestion/debris/constant clicking when I swallow for about, oh, 2 years or so. My regular doctor gave me some drops which helped somewhat, but I figured it was high time to actually see a specialist.

The audioligist gave me a hearing test, which gave me test anxiety.
"Say 'yes' when you hear the noise, even when it's really faint."
So I sat in the soundproof room with headphones on, leaning forward in my chair and squinting, trying to make out if that was actually a noise or just the incessant buzzing that usually goes on in my head.

The doctor said my ears are basically fine, no real hearing loss, I just need to use a potion (vinegar and rubbing alcohol) after I swim, and take a mild decongestant to rid myself of the excess clogging.

Of course, when he cleaned out my ears, it felt so good I wanted to French him right there in the examining room.