Selfish

Still sick.

I spent from Thursday night until last night taking care of the kid, and I completely reached my limit. It really brought home how miserable I was when she was a baby and I had post partum. In both cases, she was needy, and I felt miserable, and by 4:30 last night, I was just done. I had nothing left to give. One kid = good idea. I couldn't handle anymore.

I was hoping to be better today and go to school, so we sent G to my parents' house to stay home another day, since she's still tired and cough-y. Instead, I woke up with a fever again, and spent the morning dozing and watching Entourage (Go Aquaman!).

I also had a phone meeting, which was o.k. when it finally happened. I tend to dwell on things that worry me (like this meeting) and picture the worst and then worry about how this person will yell at me or berate me and how I have to come up with answers and justifications. Which is not at all what happened or what was even going to happen, but still, I tend to focus on the negative and spiral from there.

Anyway, now I'm resting and it's very nice to only take care of myself (although I wouldn't mind someone else taking care of me). Selfish, maybe. But I know that we're all better off if the kid is at her grandparents being doted on and I can watch R-rated material while I recuperate.