She's Lump

So I post about how I'm going to post and then . . . silence.

Well, it turned out that the lump in my breast is actually more than the "nothing" the ultrasound guy told me it was when I went back for the different views and ultrasound that Thursday. Instead, my ob/gyn's office called me at work the following Monday and said, "He told you WHAT? He should not have told you that!" and suggested I call a surgical oncologist for a consult. So I did. And it turns out it's probably nothing, but I'm going to get a needle biopsy in the next week or two to make sure.

My friend who had breast cancer offered to go with me (after I blubberingly called her saying, "WHAT THE FUCK?"), and my husband met up with me at the Dr.'s office, so I had my own little posse walking into the consult. I felt like Vince from Entourage. But with less facial hair.

So it's still not 100% certain that it's nothing, but we're more certain than not that it's a benign tumor (the adjective benign does little to take away the EEEEEEEEEKKKK of hearing a doctor say, "You have a *** tumor in your breast." Seriously. Doesn't help.).

My husband said he's very impressed with how I've handled all of this. I've been really calm, with few tears and little angst. Just one fight with husband about How He Doesn't Care That I Might Have Cancer and one instance of tearing up while discussing it with my friend. And I'll say part of that was PMS.

I'm pretty impressed I haven't gone unhinged, too. It's a long way from the crazy I used to be. It's nice to see how far I've come.

AND, I even tried new hair conditioner today ($27 for a TUBE and not so much worth it so far, Aveda. I'm going to need silk dangling from my follicles for $27) and I've not completely freaked out about being poisoned/having an allergic reaction/flipping into an alternate universe. Pretty impressive.