Whiny.

I spent today wondering why I can never be satisfied with who I am. Seriously. My life has been one long constant attempt at garnering accomplishments. And the thing is, I do those things kind of half-assed. Or I don't excel at them - my accomplishments aren't perfect, so I diminish them.

I was thinking about this today as I spent most of it driving hither and yon. I hate driving, and having to do so while in a foul mood just made me curse the stupidity of drivers in front of me more loudly and vehemently.

There is no reason to do less than the speed limit. None. And 10 miles under? You should be shot.

Where I Talk About Television and Movies.

I wasn't feeling well today, so I ended up watching t.v. instead of getting stuff done - like laundry or ridding the house of cat hair tumble weeds or even cleaning off my desk.

Anyway, I watched the movie Waitress again. I've seen it once or twice before, and I really like it, even though Jeremy Sisto's character makes me feel like I can't breath. [Seriously - does he ever NOT play a douche?]

I love Nathan Fillion. I tried watching Castle, but while he is great, the show is lame lame lame. I wish Firefly was still on. Or even Two Guys and A Girl.

And the women in this movie are fantastic. I never watched Felicity, so I never thought about Keri Russell much, but she is great in this. And even Christine Baransky, who sometimes grates, is just right.

I feel bad about Adrienne Shelly. It's hard to even think about how random and stupid crimes are.

But about the movie . . . I think the thing that I love the most about this movie is that these women are doing "bad things" like having affairs, but they are not punished like they generally would be in a mainstream movie. They are complete people, and it's o.k. if they aren't perfect.

I don't know. It was a good movie and I'm tired.

Three years done.

I did it.

I've graduated.

I went to commencement tonight. It was good. Kind of warm in the theater.

Now, of course, bar review.

And getting my grades.

There is a god

Yesterday, the Girl and I were out getting haircuts/running errands/doing Saturday things.

We swung by Target - because I am experiencing painful deoderant failure, and I can't seem to find my Secret Platinum Unscented that I switch out with my granola Tom's of Maine Unscented [seriously? I'm buying hippie deoderant? What is WRONG with me?] and I needed a new alternate - ANYWAY, we swung by Target and picked up a few things and I realized that I needed to pee. Really bad. So I left the girl checking out purses and scarves and hit the toilet.

I entered an empty bathroom, got in the stall, shut and locked the door, hung my admittedly heavy bag on the door, started doing my business and . . . the fucking door swung open. Like a horror movie.

I was dying. I couldn't reach the door. I finished up as quick as I could, wondering if I should immediately start screaming if someone happened to open the door and try and come in, wondering whywhywhy this kind of crap happens to me, finished, pulled up my pants flushed and BOLTED to the sink.

It is beyond my mortal comprehension how, in a Target on a Saturday afternoon, rife with people, not one woman came into the bathroom. It was a miracle.

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY

Finals are finally OVAH!

Now, it's time for the bar prep class. Oh, yeah. Learn everything I managed NOT to learn in school.

I'm actually going to this commencement. I didn't go to high school, I went to undergrad, I didn't go to grad school, and I wasn't planning on going to this, but my friend said I had to because she was going. So I caved to peer pressure. Quite a role model, right?

I Hate When I Do That.

So I decided to run an errand after dinner. Because i am all about procrastination when it comes to studying.

I grabbed the dusty dark blue aluminum water bottle I bought at Target for $12.99 [for a water bottle! At Target!] that the girl ended up not needing, and jumped in the car.

I transferred the bottle from one hand to the other, started the car, backed out of the drive, noticed a hangnail on one of my fingers and started chewing it. After a few seconds, I realized that my finger was covered in the bottle dust.

It tasted pretty fucking gross.

Only Tuesday?

I can't believe I have 2 exams left. I've run out of caring. Which is dangerous, because I have not prepared one tiny bit for my last exam.

Tonight I get the girl ready for her big school trip. They are going up north, and she could not be more thrilled, even though she's going on crutches. The school is providing a wheelchair, which is awesome.

I'm glad she'll be doing this, even though i can't go and I feel like a horrible mother. The orthopedist said that she needs an MRI to determine if some cartilage broke off under her kneecap - it would explain the frequency of the displacement. Worst case scenario is surgery. Which would be a sucky way to start the summer.

Kids are fun!

What Did I Do Today, You Ask?

I finally FINALLY FINALLY won a game playing Spider Solitaire at the Difficult level. WOW. What a feeling!

Also, today, I've had Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" running through my head. So while in public 3-stall toilet at work [that was empty when I entered], I was in a stall, zipping up and started singing when I realized someone had come into the stall next to me. Hi. I'm a weirdo.

Aren't you glad I shared?