Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Juxtaposition

I tend to be very, very finicky about things, wanting them just so. Sometimes it's for convenience, sometimes it's OCD, sometimes it's just fucking mental.

For example:

My shampoo must be on the right edge of the tub and my conditioner on the left. Always. Do not mix them up or I will be very, very vocally angry.

All my towels have to be folded in a specific fashion and then put away with the open edges facing the back and sides of the linen closet and they must be stacked according to color and size. Like a pyramid. Or the baby jesus will cry.

The dishes must go in the dishwasher facing right. If someone has placed them in facing left, or, god forbid, haphazardly, I have to take all of them out and re-place them. No matter if the rack is almost full. All come out, all go back in. The right way.

HOWEVER, I have absolutely no preference for which way the toilet paper is placed on the toilet paper dispenser. Over? Under? On the back of the toilet? Who gives a shit. There are more important things to worry about.

Like who put the salad forks in the slot the dinner forks are supposed to go in. That is fucked up and WILL NOT be tolerated.

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