Morose

I've been walking around all day, alternately screaming and telling myself to take deep breaths.

I hate these days, where I don't feel like I've accomplished anything in my life, and I will accomplish nothing in the future. I can't even stand to be around myself.

Days like today I realize I need to get my shit in order. But it's hard for me to feel like anything I'm doing is making any difference. From the smallest thing [making dinner] to the largest thing [contacting people about job possibilities] to those in-between things that seem to grow and grow and grow as days pass [where the hell am I getting my hair done? WHERE????], I don't feel like I can look at myself and say, "Good job. You did your best." Because is it my best when I'm constantly berating myself?

Fucking life.