Positive: Antibiotics seem to be working - ears are no longer stabby and I can swallow [hello, husband!].
Negative: Side effects of antibiotics, including, but not limited to, bathroom issues.
Positive: Got my roots colored, so I no longer look like Terri Nunn
Negative: I'm so sick of getting my hair colored a boring brown. I WANT FUNKY COLORS. Stupid being a grown up.
Positive: The girl got a really, really cute grown-up-ish haircut.
Negative: She looks kind of like a grown-up.
Positive: I cleaned out the vanity drawer full of hair stuff.
Negative: Because the girl accidentally spilled my entire bottle of Aveda Confixor [$17 retail] in the drawer. I spent about 45 minutes crying. I cried while I cleaned it, I cried while I yelled at the girl for not being careful, I cried in the shower, where I cursed this stupid fucking life and stupid fucking house with its tiny stupid fucking drawers. I hate crying. And I hate that my life is so fucking bullshit that I ended up crying because of a $17 bottle of hair gel. And I really, really hate that I yelled at the girl.
Positive: The girl is resilient.
Negative: I feel like the world's shittiest parent, and like I have set her up for a lifetime of being afraid of people who blow their shit for not fucking reason, or for lame reasons, like spilling something.
Positive: People in my life are supportive and care about me.
Negative: I continue to mire myself in bad feelings. Stupid brain chemistry.