I woke up today not feeling so great. Like, unable to swallow not great [poor husband, it's like he never wins].
I went to the doctor and found out I have strep throat & double ear infections. Who loves antibiotics? I DO! Hooray for modern medicine. Also hooray for delicious beverages and naptime and working from home. Why do I want a "real" job again? Besides the steady paycheck? And benefits?
I stopped at Target to get my prescription filled and was looking for a lemon scented air freshener while I was waiting and ended up spilling air freshener juice all over my hand. Which made me livid because what the fuck, air freshener manufacturers, you can't keep that shit contained? What are you, BP?
So then I spent about 10 minutes in the Target bathroom washing my hands like Lady Macbeth, knowing that the people who kept coming in and out were wondering about the crazy woman constantly washing her hands and muttering to herself, and knowing that they weren't close to wrong in thinking that I had some issues.
Also, when I go to the doctor, I wonder why some of the assistants don't tell you stuff like your temperature or your blood pressure or your heart rate when they take it. Is it a secret? Am I not supposed to know? Will I use this information for evil? I mean, I might, but they don't know for sure, right? Shouldn't they give me the benefit of the doubt? Or are they thinking that by not telling me my blood pressure, they are complying with the new HIPAA laws?
I told my husband about being sick and he suggested resting before he lambasted me for kissing him yesterday and trying to spread my germs like Typhoid Mary. I thought I was the only one who got to yell at people for them getting me sick. That seems unfair, like he's usurping my territory or trying to become me a la Single White Female. I've got my eye on him.
O.k., now I have to go to a meeting that's already been rescheduled once this week. I'm hoping it won't take long. Maybe I'll paint dark shadows under my eyes and make myself look really washed out. Wait, I don't have to, it's already there.