Big Fucking Babies. It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore.

So after being a major fucking baby and having a meltdown on Saturday morning about being so goddamn poor, I pulled myself together, focused on the positive, thanked my lucky stars that we don't have debtor's prisons, and I went to my friend's bridal shower and had a pretty good time. 

The shower favors were cookies [fine] but the gifts were makeup stuff - Clinique, Lancome, Estee Lauder, etc, which was even better in my book.  I picked a little Clinique bag full of goodies [most of which I gave away, because I have no use for eye serums and the like, because I have never used it and my anxiety will not allow me to use something new & serum-y near my eyes because I may go blind], but ended up second guessing myself.  It's a sickness, really.  I wasn't "OH! NEED THAT!" about anything, so I picked the Clinique stuff because I like Clinique stuff and then spent the ride home thinking, "I should have gotten the Kate Spade makeup bag [even though it was just a plastic makeup bag, and I have 6 of those floating around in my closet] or I should have picked up some Estee Lauder something for my sister for her birthday." Whatever.  I never let myself win.

One of the things I got was an eyeshadow set similar to this. I love eyeshadow in theory and am trying to work it into my daily routine, but I grew up in the 80s, so I have a hard time with the less is more approach.




Saturday was actually a really fun day [& a really long night - some friends were over until 2am!  We're old! I can't do that anymore!  Especially sober!].  The shower was good, barring my crazy on the way home.  I got home to find my daughter's friends assembled for the horror movie party she was having and, as a surprise, my husband's friends had assembled to watch the US lose to Ghana in spectacular fashion.  One of my husband's friends had his 2 year old daughter over and she was so fucking cute that I'd almost have another kid except for the whole not wanting another kid thing. 

Anyway, the kids watched The Blair Witch Project and The Ring, getting good and sugared up to heighten the scare, and we got them pizza after the husband's friends left in dejection.  The husband and I were settling down to a quiet evening of ignoring each other via reading and watching The Daily Show & The Colbert Report episodes we'd DVRd when my friend called and said she and her husband were coming over to hang out [their kid was one of the ones screaming periodically from fear. Or from being a 13 year old girl.  Same thing, right?].




 Seriously.  Who doesn't want to have sex with this guy?






So they came over and we hung out and the movies ended and other parents showed up and we all chatted and then . . . and then . . .

Did you ever wonder how people simply allow themselves to behave like fucking babies in front of other people?  I am constantly amazed at how people cannot manage to keep their shit together.  Save it for home, right?

Anyway, a few of the girls wanted to sleep over, and decided to make their pleas when their parents showed up to pick them up.  I was o.k. with this, because I knew that either the girl would be sleeping with them or with me, and I voted for them.

So the parents were very o.k. about it, the usual ribbing about how they could have called or planned ahead, except for this one parent.

This one parent, who already had cheesed off the husband because she was a whiny fuck about the party ending at 10pm on a Saturday ["Really? 10 o'clock? Because she's had a long day and blah blah blah" And husband, who has never met this woman [I've met her once, I think], is thinking "BITCH, THE US JUST FUCKING SCORED AND I MISSED IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO RECITE YOUR CHILD'S ITINERARY TO ME? PICK HER UP AT 9! HELL, TAKE HER NOW!!" But he is polite, so he told me he just smiled and nodded and said, "Yup, 10pm.  That's right."] . . .

Anyway, this parent shows up to pick up her kid and the kid is asking to sleep over and I say it's o.k. with me if it's o.k. with her, and this mother THROWS A SHIT FIT at her daughter.  In front of everyone.

Seriously.

"WHY COULDN'T YOU CALL ME?  I am SO MAD at you right now!  This is ridiculous!"

And then she STOMPED out of my house without another word and went into her car and I looked at the other 4 parents plus my husband and we were all, "Um. What the fuck just happened?"  And did I suddenly get custody?

So the girl ended up talking to her mom [& dad, I think] and stayed over.  I felt pretty bad for her.  Because even I, who can be the queen of snapping and blowing a fuse, can manage to keep my shit together while I am doing drop off and pick up IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. How mortifying, right? As if being 13 and merely having parents isn't embarrassing enough.

The girls all slept in the living room [I have no idea how we have 3 sleeping bags when the only one who goes camping is the girl] and they managed to get some sleep, even though they were FREAKED OUT.  I had a rough night because I am already a light sleeper and JUST when I was falling asleep around 3am, the girl came into my bedroom because she was freaked out, snapping me awake and giving me another 30 minutes of pleasegodletmegotosleeprightnow.  I'd love it if the husband dealt with shit like this, except he will not wake up for ANYTHING.  Seriously.  The girl and I had the lights on and were carrying on a conversation and he was snoring like the motherfucker he is.

Sunday and Monday were markedly less eventful.  Plus they included headaches.

And I keep trying not to shit myself when I wonder how we're going to pay our bills.