Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Random is better than nothing.

I had several attempted blog posts before this one.  Here's a nice amalgamation:

** I've not purchased much from them, but sweet god, the people at JCrew are AMAZING.  I had to return something and the phone service was fantastic.  I'd rank them right up there with Apple, which has thus far been my standard.  And you know what?  I'll gladly pay more for excellent customer service.  I think we all would.  Although we shouldn't have to.  Why not have a reasonable level of competence as your standard? I blame WalMart.

** I generally put books on hold at the library because I ALWAYS forget what I'm looking for when I'm there.  Because I have Book Alzheimer's.  Anyway, they'll do an automated call when your book is in.  The automated call is super annoying, because it sounds like a demented robot.  I found out from a friend that they'll send you an email notification instead, so since I'm all about checking fewer phone messages [how exhausting is it to have to push the button and listen and then delete?  I'm tired just thinking about it.] I decided to make the switch when I went to the library last time.

Where the old lady librarian gave me a hard time.  She told me no fewer than 4 times that they don't normally like to use that type of notification because people are constantly changing their email addresses.  Uh. What?  Really lady? Do I strike you as the type of person who is constantly changing her email address?  DO I LOOK LIKE A TEENAGER?  Just type it in, ok?

** Recent crazy time panic attacks:

~ Getting Albuterol up my nose when I accidentally snorted while inhaling it.  That was awesome.  Felt AMAZING.  And so I spent quite a bit of time on my good therapist Google making sure I wasn't the only who had done it and would not die from it.

~ Using Aveda Volumizer and then freaking! out! because it was new! and smelled different! and so then I had to rewash my hair because I was a loony.

** The other day, I was getting ready to shower and brushed my teeth.  I was rinsing with Listerine [Cool Blue] when I realized I needed something [a hair tie, nothing sexual, I was in a rush] from the bedroom.  So I decided I could just as easily swish Listerine in my mouth while I walked to the bedroom.

Where I turned on the light and then noticed a SPIDER!! Next to the light switch!! I spewed Listerine! In my room! And then, like a GENIUS, instead of running to the bathroom and spitting out what was left of the Listerine, I decided it was more important to KILL KILL KILL the spider! So I ran in and grabbed a tissue and squashed that fucking bug! BUT I DIDN'T!! I couldn't find the carcass!  It wasn't in the tissue and at that point, my mouth was REALLY starting to burn, so I just hoped I had mortally wounded the spider and got on with my day.  My room and my mouth smelled DELICIOUS.


  1. good god, i adore you, woman. it's ridiculous.

  2. Oh! I love you!!! You make me happy.

  3. I have the same book problem. Every time I get to the library, I'm immediately panicked about what I had wanted. Which is crazy because I'll essentially read anything.

    I've taken to checking my Goodreads account for suggestions. My last trip to the library involved checking the account four times to get three books!

  4. Alison, isn't it crazy? I also will try just about anything - but I get super picky at the library.

    I never think to check Goodreads while I'm at the library.

  5. I have a severe multi-tasking ADHD issue. I frequently try to do other things while brushing my teeth and somehow, at the critical mouth-too-full-of-minty-foam point the sink is always a long, long way away. I spend the rest of the day with toothpaste stains all over my clothes, and having to explain to other people that they are most definitely toothpaste stains...


  6. Jo, I hate toothpaste stains. They never look normal. I am glad, however, that I'm not alone in trying to multi-task while brushing my teeth.

  7. I have the same spider problem. But I almost wrecked my car.

  8. Renee - Oh. That's why I don't like to drive with my windows open. I hate bugs. So scary!

  9. You are hilarious. But I gotta ask: Given everything you've said about your hair, why on Earth would you need a volumizer?!

  10. KathyR - And there it is: I didn't actually NEED the volumizer, it was one of those freebies that had been sitting in my drawer for a while and I thought, huh, let's see what it does. It gives me panic, is what it does.

  11. OMG. There was a spider hanging from the little dangly ceiling fan string the other day DIRECTLY ABOVE MY HEAD. And when I ran into the other room to fetch some spray cleaner to douse it in toxic mist, the little fucker crawled into the tiny hole inside the bead at the end of the little dangly ceiling fan string. And now I'm afraid to turn off ceiling fan. Thanks, spider.

  12. Alone - Ugh. I hate hate hate spiders. HATE THEM. Although I generally leave all my ceiling fans on. I like the breeze.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.