Without any further ado:
Flip Off Cold Halloween Nights. What a bummer for kids to have great costumes and then have to cover up in winter coats because it's 40 degrees. Come on, weather. Cut us a break. I want to see the princess without the down jacket.
Flip Off Slow Internet Connections. Honest to god, AT&T, you guys are belligerent wankers who are doing your best to make me CRAZY with the dawdling. How is it so hard to UPLOAD A PICTURE??? It's taking forever. Somehow, this is worse than dial-up.
Flip Off Running Out of a Key Ingredient While Cooking. Like, say, making chicken stir fry and having everything ready and chopped and cooked and good to go and then reaching into the fridge for the soy sauce only to find . . . nothing. No soy sauce. Anywhere. Still, as a silver lining? Fried rice sans soy sauce is not too shabby!
Flip Off People Being Mean to My Kid. You may be a kid yourself, but you'd better watch your step. I will end you.
What's making you clench your teeth today?