Thursday, October 28, 2010

Scary Movies, Scary Realities

The girl had a horror movie party Saturday night.  She likes to have friends over to watch spooky movies, and then they cackle and commence to howling about the gore and the scariness and the ghoulishness.  They aren't very discriminating in what they watch.  Movies about aliens and zombies and boogey men.  Movies that are maybe 90 minutes long, but have a run time of twice that because of all the pausing for bathroom breaks and giggling and "What the heck was that?"

Saturday night, she had about 14 kids over [I know, what the hell was I thinking?  I'll tell you what I'm thinking now: NEVER AGAIN.  Until she asks again.  Because I am nothing if not a sucker.], and about 6 of the girls ended up staying the night. Whereupon they stayed up all night, causing a frightful noise, making me feel like a zombie in the morning. 

Also kind of making me wish I had a cauldron to toss them all into. 

Since we don't live in a mansion, and teenage girls evidently have no volume control, we could hear what they were talking about.  Some of it silly, and some of it frightful, all of it punctuated with squeals and laughter.  Fun times and fun kids having fun in a safely scary environment.

Still, I have to say, there are a few girls among my daughter's friends that I find . . . kind of wicked.  I am not a fan.  I try not to be the blanket statement parent, the one who says, "You are not seeing What'sHerName anymore, she's awful."  I know that doesn't work, and even if it did, I don't expect to be able to pick my daughter's friends for the rest of her life [although if only. . . ] and I want her to be able to make smart choices about who she brings into her life.

As I said, a few of these girls are wicked.  Not Wicked Smart, or Wicked Cool, or even necessarily Wicked Malicious.  More like Wicked Oblivious.  So involved in their own dramas, that they don't see [or won't see] how their shitty behavior affects the people they are supposedly friends with.

And so we have the post-party dance, of what happened and who said what and hmm . . . that doesn't seem like a nice way to treat someone, does it?

And still I have to wait for her to make the decision.  To decide who she wants to be friends with and who she considers cool and who she decides is good enough.

That, I think, is the scariest prospect of all.

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  1. Just be there to pick up the pieces, mom. It's hard to watch them get hurt, but....

  2. You're a good mom. Not dictating her friends. And talking to her about how they make her feel. It's hard. Watching them go through all that figuring out. But in the end, she'll be ok. Because you let her figure it out.

  3. Sounds like you have it well under control, but yeah, it is scary. You're a saint to host that many teenagers, though, that's for sure.

  4. Thank you all so much. It's been awful trying to stay out of the way. I hate this time of life.

  5. Sounds like a day in life at my house.

    We've gone through and continue to go through the friend thing here since I have 3 girls. I think it gets a bit better the older they get. My oldest has it pretty well figured out now and she's 14.

  6. Too bad the friends couldn't be Wicked like the green girl in the musical. She's my kind of girl.


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