I Can't Do That

I have weird manifestations of OCD - as opposed to the normal manifestations.  In fact, I wasn't aware that the things I did would even be considered OCD.  I thought OCD was strictly about washing your hands and making sure that your door is locked and putting your shoes on right foot first ALWAYS because OMG otherwise you'd feel weird all day.

Not that I'd know anything about that.

Anyway, I was talking to my therapist about stuff I do, like having to plan out, exactly, how I'd get from point A to point B, or my issues with food, nothing about eating disorders, more about having to have things be absolutely perfect or clean.  Like, I would never, in a million years, take a can that had a ripped label, much less one that was dented.  Selecting produce can be exhausting.  I didn't think it was odd; I simply thought I was fastidious.

And if I did run across something that I had purchase that was not right?  There is no way in hell I would eat it.  Like, say, I'd get a wonky potato chip, with maybe a hole in the middle of it.  I'd immediately think, "Huh, that's weird.  It looks like a worm ate through it.  Or maybe an evil poisoner meticulously drilled it with a poisoned awl.  Hahaha.  Not that those things would ever happen.  But anyway, I'm not eating that."  And then I'd set it aside and leave it on a napkin until I threw it away.  Like so:

Evil Potato Chip.

Yeah. So.  Wonky chip leads to wonky thoughts and I have to surreptitiously take a photo of my food so I can tell the internet what a nutjob I am.

Awesome.