Marriage: Seriously. WTF?

I came to the conclusion the other day that being married is like fighting molasses.  It envelopes you, and you start pushing and punching, but you end up stuck more firmly and wrapped up in more and more of it.  It never lets you go. But it can be kind of sweet.

I never had a good handle on marriage, on what it could be.  On what it should be.  I knew what I didn't want - I'd seen enough bad marriages to make me an expert on that.

But what did I want?  I mean, isn't the opposite of not wanting a bad marriage wanting no marriage at all?

It turns out, it's not.  Wanting the opposite of a bad marriage could actually mean wanting a GOOD marriage.  I know, right?  Earth shattering.

But what's a good marriage?

I know that is an individual decision, an individual desire.  It may help to clarify or discuss what that thing is, but sometimes those determinations are too abstract.  Or too specific.

I mean, I could say that my good marriage would be to Jon Stewart [or Eminem], but where would that get me?  Frustrated?

Or I could say that my good marriage is based on respect and love and admiration, but that sounds too much like what a generic greeting card would say.

Or I could say that my good marriage would be to someone who wants what is best for me, but that sounds like what your nutritionist would say.

So I don't know.  I think it's all of those things and maybe none of those things [i.e., bye-bye Jon and Eminem].  But I also think part of it [for me] is wanting to be married.  Wanting to be with someone. Sure, there are days, weeks, months, years, when that is not the case.  But there has to be a desire to be with that person, to see something through.

Also, Jon Stewart won't return my calls.

Bastard.