Tuesday, November 9, 2010

It Just Figures

Let's just say you are having a really, really long day.

And let's say that on your way into work, your gas light went on and dinged to let you know that you need to get gas.

Which you thought about getting last night so you wouldn't be rushed or feel panicked as you were driving the 45 minutes to an hour commute into work.

But let's just say that you didn't want to be late, so you coasted in to work, thinking you'd get gas on your way home.  No big.


As soon as you get in your car, three people immediately call you about: The big volunteer project; another question about the big volunteer project; and your husband, calling you from Costco, asking what kind of baked goods you want him to pick up to pass off as your own for the bake sale.

So you're a little scattered, and trying to answer questions [Yes, I know he said he'd do that, but he didn't so you need to pick up the slack; That's fine, just do what you can; A dozen muffins, who cares what kind] and then you realize that you have suddenly driven into a residential area [thanks for letting me over, you fucking twat in the Lexus SUV] and you have NO FUCKING IDEA where the nearest gas station is, so you pull out your handy dandy iPhone and pull up the map feature and search for GAS STATION, NAME OF CITY THAT YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE IN and ta da! Up pop several pins signifying gas stations.  You pick one that looks closest and drive toward it, except you fuck up and turn too early so you end up in ANOTHER subdivision and then you finally find a major thoroughfare and you see it!  Up ahead!  A gas station!  And you don't care that even though it's drizzling this particular gas station doesn't have any overhangs to protect you from the weather.  Who cares? You just want to get through the intersection and pull in and you get out and . . .

You cannot for the life of you figure out what the hell is going on with this gas pump.You've got the nozzle in your car.  You've selected the cheapest grade.  And then: You push the PAY CREDIT button, but don't see where you can swipe your card and suddenly over the loudspeaker you hear "GARBLE GARBLE BLAH GARBLE" so you keep trying to figure out how to get the gas to start flowing because who cares? You'll go inside and pay.

And then this nice old man comes over and says, "This is a full service pump."

And you look at him blankly and say, "I'm sorry, I have no idea what that means."

And he looks at you like you're an idiot, but you're his idiot, and says, "Here someone has to pump the gas for you," and you think, we'll I'M PUMPING, but he kindly points to the next pumps over and says, "You can pump yourself over there."



I get back in the car and pull around, hoping I have enough gas to actually get to the fucking pump, when I finally reach it and am able to pour that sweet, sweet fuel into my tank.

And when the little screen asks me if I want a receipt, I press yes.

And it fails to print a receipt.

Of course.

So I stand there, demoralized, and get in my car and drive home, because I cannot deal with one more fucking thing.


Over at List Addicts, I'm instigating.  Check me out!


  1. oh, full service. when i was among the driving and would road-trip to new york, it was always so weird to me how you're not allowed to pump your own gas at the service stations on the turnpike. i hate waiting, so that was extra-frustrating.

    and i have days like that about three times a week...

  2. I forgot about full and self serve. it's taken me months to get used to not pumping my own gas (it's an OR law), but now I'm all pampered. yes, I could do it faster, but it's so nice not having to get out of my car.

  3. Ha. In my generation? I know women who will not, who refuse, to pump their own gas. They will drive ten miles out of their way and wait in line to get to the one station that has full service. We have a full service station a half mile from our house. The gas is also cheaper. (Yeah, I don't know how they do that but I suspect there's an inside connection somewhere). I won't go there because, as someone else mentioned, I am way too impatient to wait for someone to get around to waiting on me.

  4. Wow! I didn't even know full service stations existed any more. I'd have jumped back on the car and said alrighty then.
    However, I'm bad about waiting til the last fume before I stop for gas. And Hubby dear always says he didn't do cause he doesn't know how much money is in the account. Which is bs and annoying.

  5. if only our cell phones could pump our gas for us...

  6. It's been a really long time since I had a full-service pump.

    And no, I don't know why my mind always goes *there.*


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