Tuesday, December 28, 2010

We Interrupt This Lengthy Sabbatical


I hope you've all been enjoying your holiday festivities.  I've been alternating between frenzied craziness and bone-crushing exhaustion causing me to fall asleep on the couch at ridiculously early hours and wake up not so refreshed with a cat on my lap and drool on my book.

Here's a quick snapshot:
  • I managed to make a ham.  This may not seem like such a big deal, but I made this ham even though I was raised Muslim and don't eat ham and actually find it pretty disgusting and I didn't, in fact, taste the ham or ham gravy [because OF COURSE there was gravy - I would drink gravy if I wouldn't get so many disapproving glances] for seasonings, and it was hailed as a masterpiece of hamminess.  A ham Sistine Chapel.
  • I bought myself 3 new sweaters while gift shopping and my sister actually wrapped one for me as a gift from me to me.  I was excited, even though I may return one of the new sweaters because it lost a shiny rhinestone button the first time I washed it, and that is unacceptable.  
  • I have eaten my body weight in snack foods and dessert-type items.  It does not help that XMAS and PMS have coincided this year.  Nice planning, bitches.
  • Our holiday party was fun and my hair looked FUCKING FANTASTIC.  Full details in a later post.
  • I had a dream about urine mints.
  • I'm trying to listen to The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, but sweet merciful jesus, that reader sucks ass.
  • I'm planning on heading back to the gym soon.  Is it wrong to exercise for 5 minutes and then maybe just sitting on the exercise bike and reading for another 25 minutes?  And if so, how wrong exactly?
So that's a quick update.  I'll have more in depth analysis of my life soon.  In the meantime, if you've got a hankering, I've got a new post up at Secret Society of List Addicts.  It's genius, if I do say so myself.


  1. Wait, so the real Sistine Chapel isn't made of ham?

    You've just saved me a round-trip ticket to Italy.

  2. wow - nice work on the ham. as a southern girl, you'd think i'd be all about some ham, but really, no. it's not something i can bring myself to eat. that being said, it impresses the hell out of people when it's done right, and it's hard, too.

  3. you are friggin hilarious. i've missed your posts. you complete me.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.