We Interrupt This Lengthy Sabbatical

Hola!

I hope you've all been enjoying your holiday festivities.  I've been alternating between frenzied craziness and bone-crushing exhaustion causing me to fall asleep on the couch at ridiculously early hours and wake up not so refreshed with a cat on my lap and drool on my book.

Here's a quick snapshot:

• I managed to make a ham.  This may not seem like such a big deal, but I made this ham even though I was raised Muslim and don't eat ham and actually find it pretty disgusting and I didn't, in fact, taste the ham or ham gravy [because OF COURSE there was gravy - I would drink gravy if I wouldn't get so many disapproving glances] for seasonings, and it was hailed as a masterpiece of hamminess.  A ham Sistine Chapel.
• I bought myself 3 new sweaters while gift shopping and my sister actually wrapped one for me as a gift from me to me.  I was excited, even though I may return one of the new sweaters because it lost a shiny rhinestone button the first time I washed it, and that is unacceptable.  
• I have eaten my body weight in snack foods and dessert-type items.  It does not help that XMAS and PMS have coincided this year.  Nice planning, bitches.
• Our holiday party was fun and my hair looked FUCKING FANTASTIC.  Full details in a later post.
• I had a dream about urine mints.
• I'm trying to listen to The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, but sweet merciful jesus, that reader sucks ass.
• I'm planning on heading back to the gym soon.  Is it wrong to exercise for 5 minutes and then maybe just sitting on the exercise bike and reading for another 25 minutes?  And if so, how wrong exactly?

So that's a quick update.  I'll have more in depth analysis of my life soon.  In the meantime, if you've got a hankering, I've got a new post up at Secret Society of List Addicts.  It's genius, if I do say so myself.