Tuesday, January 25, 2011

PT-FUCK-A [UPDATED for Throat Punch Thursday!]

I am generally a person who likes to help others.  I'm not going to kick a person when she's down, even if she really, really deserves it.  I may be bitchy and snarky and find myself superior to most mortals, but when it comes right down to it, I'm that person who will do what needs to be done.

And I have had enough of it when it comes to the PTA.

Years ago, when the girl was a tot, I was president of her cooperative preschool.  If you don't know what that is, it's a preschool where there is a paid teacher and the rest of the jobs are done by the families.  There is a board which handles licensing, fundraising, educational compliance, etc.  It's a business run by moms.

And it was, without a doubt, the best thing for my daughter.  And ultimately the worst thing for me.

Because the president?  Gets shit on.  ALL THE TIME.  In every direction.  No one is happy.  And the best you can hope for is that people will respect you for doing your job and leave you the fuck alone.  And being someone what wants to do the job right and have everything go well?  Yeah, that makes it really, really hard.

It so soured me on school groups that I did not become a part of the girl's elementary school PTA board.  I just chaired some committees and volunteered when I wanted to. 

It was working fine, until I was asked to be the PTA president for the girl's last year of middle school.  I didn't want to, but after giving it some thought, and listening to the pleas of the old board & president, I said o.k.

What a huge fucking mistake.

It has been a non-stop shit storm of cranky people and incompetent people and things not getting done and everything ending up in my lap - my lap that is already full with a 1.5 hour round trip daily commute to a shitty temp job where my soul is being pummeled while I'm trying to find a permanent job and maybe take care of myself and my family and this house that seems like it just creates more stuff while I'm gone.

I am tired of:
  • Being nice to people who are being rude to me.
  • Being nice to people who are incompetent.
  • Being nice to people who refuse to step up.
  • Being the person who gets frantic calls and emails at work. [Although I don't mind the interruption, I do mind that I'm expected to magically fix stuff.  I am not Albus Dumbledore.]
  • Being ultimately responsible for everything.  EVERYTHING.  
  • Being expected to handle what no one else will handle.
  • Being expected to know what's going on for every single aspect of this school of 900+ kids.
  • Bearing the brunt of dissatisfaction because things don't run smoothly.  It's not my fault that grown ups can't act like grown ups and do what they say they're going to do.  And there is absolutely nothing I can do about there not being any hot chocolate when I'm 45 minutes away.  FIX IT YOURSELF. 
I have a meeting tonight.  I am very, very close to telling everyone to fuck off.  Very close. We'll see what happens.

Wish me luck.  Or at least the ability to keep my mouth closed.

In other, more pleasant and less foul news, I have a new post up at Secret Society of List Addicts.  Go.  It's 100% less PTA intensive.


  1. You are a stronger woman than I am. If I ever have kids, I plan on being the mom that is always "busy" on PTA night...

  2. You YOU were supposed to let me know when this post went live.


    Anyway, yeah, to all that. I can't take that stuff.

    It's so silly, and not even the real world. PTA ers need to think what is right for their kids. But they don't. They all think about status, their egos, their legacy air quotes.

    Tell them off...makes me want to sing "Harper Valley PTA" while standing behind you.

    Don't they know who they're messing with? Then, after Harper Valley, I'd launch into "Now you're messin' with a Sunuvabitch."

    Call me. I'll be there. Honest.

  3. Been there. Done that. NEVER again. And I advise everyone I know to skip the PTA/O. Send in your five bucks and let someone else take the shit. You can always volunteer for a fun, easy job when there's an event that isn't fucking stoopid.

  4. sounds very similar to office politics... like your bookish profile!

  5. This makes me NOT want anything to do with PTA or HASA, sounds like too much trouble and too much aggravation when you are trying to do everything else on your plate.I guess the bunch do deserve a giant Throat Punch for being arseholes.Hope you were able to maintain your composure and if not,I hope you videotaped it:)LOL Thanks for sharing your Throat Punch Thursday with us!!

  6. I teach middle school, and wanted to tell you that I really appreciate what you do. I love our PTO, and I enjoy helping out when they recruit teachers for stuff (making brownies, serving hot dogs, etc.)
    Middle schools wouldn't function properly without you!


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