Monday, February 28, 2011

Oldie but a goodie

I was sick all weekend and spent Sunday watching most of the first season of Cougar Town [seriously, are you watching this show?  Check it out on Hulu or do like I did and get the DVDs from the library.  You will not regret it.  And then we can all start playing Penny Can.  PENNY CAN!!].

Anyway . . . sick, tired, so very wiped out.  Here's an old post from ages ago you may enjoy.  Or you may not.  I'm kind of hopped up on meds and not a very good judge of stuff right now.

***************** Originally posted 10/06/07 [I know, right?  Like a thousand years ago!]******

I'm done. Seriously.

I am minding my own business, driving down the street, where the CARS are supposed to be, when I come upon an idiot bike rider who decides the sidewalk isn't good enough (Insert inane bike rider complaint about "I can't ride on sidewalks blah blah blah" here) and so I have to make sure that I look out for Idiot Biker who has no interest in traffic law or in staying in the same general area.

Do you not get that there are VERY LARGE METAL OBJECTS HURTLING DOWN THE SAME PATH? Idiot.

(Biker: "Oh, but you should look out for bikers." Fine. When you are sitting in your house, greasing your gears, be sure to look out for cars, o.k.?)

Even better is when I'm driving down a windy park road where there is a FUCKING BIKE PATH and there are idiot bike riders who insist on riding on the shoulder.

I don't even want to know what the inane rationale is for that one. It's not going to fly. What? The bike path is made of some kind of material from an alternate dimension that eats bike wheels? What?

Finally, today, I was driving down a residential street, which is chock full of sidewalks, when a person was RUNNING in the street. Where, again, the very large metal objects are. Not running like he was being chased. Just out for a jog.

AND THEN. AND THEN! I was driving home down my own residential street which is again, PLAGUED with sidewalks, when I saw a person WALKING IN THE STREET. IN THE FUCKING STREET.

Not a Screw Authority Sullen Teenager, out to show The Man she's not following any dumb rules.

Not a child who escaped his parents' watchful eyes and is scampering, free as a chipmunk, in the street.

No. This was a middle aged woman in a track suit, out for her morning constitutional.

Now I am a very careful driver (because I have horrific anxiety about getting into an accident) and I will watch out very carefully for other cars, because you never know when another driver is texting something important (C U L8R KBY) or suddenly spills the soup they are eating in their lap. Because they are in big cars and might hurt me if they lose control.

I will even brake for animal life, from stupid squirrels and chipmunks to deer to those fucking geese and ducks who think they and their brood can cross ANYWHERE THEY WANT. Because they are idiot animals who evidently cannot read street signs.

But you. You humans. There is no excuse but pure cussedness for your behavior. It must end now.

7 comments:

  1. I've tried to watch Cougar Town, but find myself strangely put off by Courtney Cox's lips. They don't look real anymore and I keep staring at them and wondering such things as :How often does she get collagen injections? And is it possible they will burst and spew lips parts all over the place?

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  2. I've said this before: I love Cougar Town but hate Courtney Cox's character in it. I love Ellie. that is why I watch. I want to be her when I grow up.

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  3. I'm with France....Courtney ..does she know she looks this weird?

    Could her wrinkles have been THAT bad, that ducklips are preferable?????

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  4. Yes, Ellie is the best and she is who I want to be when I grow up.

    As to Courtney Cox - and, I hate to say it, but Ellie, too - the plastic surgery is just too much. I'm not sure why it's the cool thing to have lips that end at your earlobes, but it just makes me sad. Wrinkles are FINE.

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  5. This is just so good.
    A few weeks ago, on my way home from the gym at say, midnight, I encountered a guy Rollerblading down the middle of a major road. Rollerblading in traffic at midnight wearing all black. He clearly wants to die.

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  6. Oh, I could rant on bikers and people who think the road is for walking as opposed to sidewalks all.day.long.

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.