It's the community, really

Why do I blog?  What do I want out of this?

You see those questions asked often, and people do really try and answer them seriously, with a lot of thought put into their answers.

I'd do that, but it's late and I'm tired and I want to watch an episode of Scrubs before I fall asleep, so here's what I've got for you instead:

I blog because I love to write.  I also love to interact with people, but not too much.  I need my time alone. Or if not alone, then with just me, the girl and the husband in the house.  We can be sitting in the same room, but we like our separate activities, too.  We are a group of loners.

That's us in the evening.  I'm the one wearing two maxipads, because it's the full moon and I've got my period.

Anyway, I like to interact with people, particularly funny people, people who think and have something thoughtful to say.  I mean, have you tried talking to the general public?  It's a nightmare.

Also, most importantly, I like when people read what I write and I LOVE when people make comments about it.  Because I am needy and feel like you are validating me. Also, I love to get email, so when people comment and I get email, it's like a double win.

But I think the best part of this is that I get to write and I get to do it with a measure of anonymity.  I do that because I grew up with the maxim that you keep your secrets secret and DO NOT share information with your friends/relatives/etc. because they will use it against you.  That makes it hard to open up to people you deal with all the time.  How much sharing is too much?  The next time you meet up with your friend, are they thinking about the fact that you told them you sometimes will poop 4 or 5 times a day and it concerned you enough to discuss it with your doctor [who, by the way, told you it's FINE]?  Because if the situation were reversed, I would totally be thinking, "Has she pooped a lot today?  Is that why she's going to the bathroom again?  How can she poop in a public toilet?" [Easy. When you have to poop, you have to poop.]

Where was I?

Oh, anyway, the funny thing is, that by blogging and somehow visiting blogs and having people visit this blog, I have developed a community.  An amazing community where people are funny and kind and really, really foul-mouthed.  And with a few of these people, I've become more open and honest that I have with years in therapy or in years of friendship.  It's helped me move outside myself and become the person I want to be.  And I kind of like that.

I spend hours during my week either posting or reading posts, and yet there are very, very few people in my real life who read my blog or even know that this is a hobby [is that what this is?].  So I don't know what to do about that.  Or even if that should concern me at all. 

Hmmm . . . this was a lot more serious than I had planned.  So let's end it on this note:

Today at work, this douchebag guy got moved next to me and had, I am not kidding you, a spazzy fit about it.  An adult.  A grown-up man who acted like someone moved his carpet square in preschool.  And I wished, so desperately, that all my blogging friends were there to see it.