Graduation celebrations for elementary and middle schools.
Because suddenly we live in Appalachia or the inner city and our kids are only going to get schoolin' up to the 8th grade and we need to celebrate this fact with a giant carnival type festival.
LOLJK, people, this is the middle- to upper-middle class suburbs. We all moved here because of the great school system. OF COURSE our kids are going to finish 6th or 8th grade. What the hell else are they going to do? Go work in factories making lead-based dolls for their younger siblings to play with?
Do we really need to spend countless volunteer hours and donations and money to say, "Hey, kids, WAY TO GO!! Way to go to high school for the next four years and to college for the next 4-6 years after that! And grad school! BRAVO!!!"
Honest to god, THIS is why the rest of the world hates America.