Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Top 5 Reasons My Husband is a Bummer

1.  Rational thinking.  He insists on this while I am far more comfortable in the mercurial world of my zig zaggy emotions.

2.  Poor family.  God, you'd think he'd make sure he was related to some really old, really rich, really generous people.  No.  He didn't and he's not.

3.  Refusal to go to bed at the same time I do.  What's wrong with a 9:30 bed time? 

4.  Horrible at massage.  Seriously.  It's a crime against humanity, what he does.  He must have learned these techniques at a CIA extraordinary rendition camp.

5. Eyelashes are three times longer and thicker than mine.  Bastard.

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6 comments:

  1. It's like you're describing my husband too! Now I'm totally mad at him and he's gonna get when gets home!

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  2. Yeah, that number 1, that's a problem for me, too. "Oh, what, so now you want me to actually tell you where I got those numbers? What, me estimation based on my theory of what seems reasonable in my own mind isn't GOOD enough for you?" But I prefer he goes to bed after me whenever possible. That way I have time to fall asleep before the snorefest begins:-)

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  3. the eyelashes thing is really just not cool. you'd think he'd do the gentlemanly thing and trade.

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  4. Oh, hate to do this because I hate the initials on the computer...but..

    LOL.

    Seriously, LOL to the massage.

    I know...and I will NEVER ask my husband for a massage again as long as I live.

    My back felt like I was turning into Quasimodo.

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  5. what pisses me off is that I have to go to sleep after him because he cannot go to sleep if I snore. But he snores just as loud and I have to try to fall asleep through that. Not only that because he is legally blind (no really he is) he has super fricken human hearing and my snoring has woken him out of a drug (sleeping pill) induced sleep. So he leaves me alone in the bed and goes and sleeps on the couch. Arsehole! there is more, but then I should post about it and not comment and you did so well.

    ReplyDelete

Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.