Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Something New

I'm not a recipe sharer.

I mean, I cook.  Every fucking goddamn day, I cook.

But I don't really share recipes, because after the initial attempt at a recipe, I end up just winging it.  It works out well, but whenever someone asks me for the recipe for something, I have to say, "Well, it's like this, you take some broth and some carrots - however many you think you'll eat..." and then I have to stop and apologize because it's just not going to work.  I mean, I can tell you what I use, and when I add things, and the temp I cook it at, but beyond that?  Nothing.


I just made granola bars last night, and they are awesome.  The girl loves my granola bars - she thinks they're the best things ever.  Her friends agree.  And they're way easy.  So here's my attempt to share the recipe.  I've adapted this from a couple of different recipes I found online [I think from allrecipes.com], but they are my own.

Suniverse's Granola Bars *
4 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1Tbsp vanilla
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup butter, softened [or nuked for about 25 seconds, because you forgot to soften it]
1 cup honey
Dried cherries
Dried cranberries
Chocolate chips
1 cup almonds, crushed

Butter a 9x13 baking dish. [I used a 9 1/2 x 13 1/2 or some weird ratio.  It's fine to use something not exact.  I think.]

Preheat the oven to 350F.

In a really, really large bowl, dump in your oats.  [I use Quaker Original because that's what they have at Costco.]

Mix your flour and baking soda together in a measuring cup.  Add to the oats.

Add vanilla, brown sugar, butter and honey.  [I just poured the honey, but I think it was a cup.]

Add fruit and nuts and chocolate.  I add a handful at a time and eyeball it until I think I've got the correct fruit to oat ratio.  And then I add the chocolate & nuts.

Mix this all together.  Every time, I start hopefully with a spoon or a rubber spatula.  And every time I end up using my hands.  Just use your hands.  You won't feel inadequate for your inability to mix with utensils.

The mixture should adhere to itself.  If it's too crumbly, your bars will be crumbly.  Add some extra butter.  It's o.k. 

Pour the mix into your buttered baking dish.  I say pour, but it's more like dump because the stuff isn't going to glide out.  I usually end up pulling it out with one hand while I hold the giant bowl tipped on its side in the baking dish with my other hand.

Smoosh down the granola mix so that it's nice and even.

Bake for 30-35 minutes.  I'd check at 25 minutes.  If it's not a nice light brown and somewhat firm, I'd give it a few more minutes.  Mine took about 35 minutes this time, but it varies.

Cut into what you consider a serving size.  I try and get at least a dozen big ass bars. 

Eat.  I store the rest in the baking dish covered in plastic, because the girl loves them and they don't last, but you can put them in individual plastic bags and also freeze them for later. 


* Measures are my best guess.  I mean, I use the pretty much exact measurement for most of the stuff, but I know for a fact that I don't measure the baking soda, vanilla or honey.  Or the fruits, nuts or chocolate.  So basically I measured the flour and oatmeal and sugar.  Well, I measured the flour.  Sort of.


  1. yum! thanks. i can switch out the butter with vegan "butter" and get vegan chocolate chips and i'm golden! my mouth is watering.

  2. I love that your granola bars include chocolate chips. I think every good granola bar needs them.

  3. If all recipes were written with witty commentary, I'd cook more. Wait, no. I'd read more.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.