Finally, FINALLY got an appointment for a massage.
After 1 & 1/2 years of NO massages [amazingly, no job = no money = no luxuries. Fuckers.], I made an appointment.
Which I then I had to reschedule.
Which my masseuse [I need a better word here. Body rubber? No, that's even weirder.] had to reschedule.
And then TA DA! The day finally came.
And I forgot how weird it is to get a massage.
Because there's the whole being naked and being touched by someone [I'm assuming] you aren't having sex with [unless your partner is actually adept at giving you a massage without inflicting pain, unlike some people I could name] [or you're starring in a porno] [or I guess if you're at the doctor] [I don't know your life]. Plus, you're giving them money to do this.
There's also the should I keep my underwear on or take them off? dilemma.
And the awkward tell me about your body discussion [you know, where does it hurt? not please explain that mole or elaborate mythological tattoo].
And the realization that you [I] haven't shaved your legs in a really, really long time. Or your armpits. [What? I'm feeling European. Plus, it's cold, and I need an extra layer of warmth.].
And there's the hope that you don't smell because you [I] haven't showered yet.
And then the sweet relief of having your body rubbed [seriously, there has to be some better way to put this] - or in my case, the constant tensing in pain because OW OW OW do I have some knots on my body.
And then the immediate, pressing need to PEE RIGHT THIS SECOND, HOLY GOD, CAN I RUN TO THE BATHROOM NAKED? Am I the only one who has to pee like this?
So, yeah. I had a massage, and it was good.