This is becoming ridiculous

Saturday I was at work, like a sucker, and I looked out the window around 2:00 and noticed a few snow flakes falling.  Huh, I thought, I hadn't realized we were getting flurries today, and turned back around to my desk to focus on my work [i.e. read the paper and follow Twitter].

Half an hour of rigorous work later [what is an 8 letter word for elocution?], I look back out the window.

White out.

Seriously.  It was all snow.  Falling hard and fast. 

I text the husband and the sister to see what they knew about this.  I check the Weather Channel and start losing it:  Winter Weather Advisory until 7pm.  Fuck.  I work 45 minutes from home.  I am fucked.

Then I read:  Total accumulation expected - 1-2".

Oh, o.k., not a big deal.  That's not a ton of snow.  I can drive through that.  I was going to work until 6, but I can stay later and that'll be fine.

Then I realize, as I look out the window at my car, that there is ALREADY about 2" of snow piled on my car.  And you can't see the road.  At all.  It is covered in snow.

AWESOME.

I start panic texting and calling the husband about WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I CANNOT HANDLE THIS I HATE DRIVING AND CAN'T DO THIS.

I discuss our options with coworkers who live out near me.

At 2:45, we decided to bail.  For a couple of reasons:

1.  Driving when it's light out is far preferable to driving in the dark in bad weather.
2.  There is definitely more snow coming down than they say and we wanted to get out while we could.
3.  The county we work it DOES NOT PLOW ITS ROADS FOR SHIT.  Seriously, it is a FAR wealthier county than the one I live in, but because they want to save money on taxes, they barely plow.  For their geographic area, I later found out, they had 12 trucks out plowing.  TWELVE.  For almost 7 inches of snow.  Assholes.

So we pack up our shit and go.  I am wearing MaryJanes, and have no snow boots, because THERE WAS NO INDICATION that it would snow, much less snow that much.  One coworker is wearing those Ugg slipper clog things and has no snow boots AND no snow scraper. 

We are the Donner Party.

It takes me 1 1/2 hours to make the 45 minute drive home.  GrandeMocha was twittering me weather updates and cheering me on. 

It took me almost an hour to get to my county, which usually takes me about 20 minutes.  I did not see one snow plow for the almost 5 inches that had already come down.  I did see jackass people who thought that snow covered roads meant that they could drive 40-50 miles an hour in their Chrysler minivans.  Fucking idiots.

As soon as I hit the county line, I shit you not, I saw THREE snow plows.  THREE.  On the major road, chugging along, scraping snow and shooting salt.  I got behind one and made it home much more easily, thanking my stars that I was strong enough to deal with that drive and not completely lose my shit.

I have also revamped my NO LIVING IN THE SOUTH policy and am taking suggestions for milder climates.  This is bullshit.