Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How Awesome Am I? THIS AWESOME.

The ever lovely Kristy from Pampers and Pinot was kind enough to gift me with this award:

 Jealous much?

Yes. Despite my near constant use of profanity, I'm a Versatile Blogger.  [Kristy may or may not have been drunk when she decided to give this to me.  I mean - Pampers and PINOT? Still, I'll take it.]

I'm supposed to tell you seven things about myself.  So here goes:

1.  I loathe the smell of lilacs.  Seriously.  It gives me a headache and smells like chemical disinfectant for bathrooms of people who have violent diarrhea.

2.  I was kicked out of my driver's ed class one day. I'm still not sure for what.  The teacher apologized to me the next day.  Again, I'm still not sure for what.  But I did feel like a badass.

3.  I love crossword puzzles but am not a fan of Sudoku.  I think I'm allergic to numbers.

4.  If I don't remember your name the first time I meet you, the odds are really, really good I'll never remember your name.  You'll just be "Crap, what's her name again?" until one of us dies.  Unless I think your name is something else.  Then that's your name until one of us dies.

5.  I can't sleep if both of my arms are under the blankets.  One of them has to be on top.  Otherwise I feel like I'm choking.

6.  I hate the actor who plays Dumbledore in the last 6 Harry Potter movies. So much that he ruins the whole viewing experience AND I didn't even cry when Dumbledore died [in the movie - cried like a little bitch when he died in the book].

7. I'm not a fan of either tiramisu or creme brulee.  I love pudding and cheesecake, but there's something about the taste and texture of these desserts that just doesn't sit well with me [too boogery?].  I used to feel like I was uncouth and a yokel for feeling that way, since these are such fancy desserts.  And then I realized, fuck it - I'm awesome.

So that's that.  I'm not sure if I'm supposed to hand this off to someone else, but if I am - I pick . . .



21st Century Mrs.


  1. I can't sleep unless the covers are covering one of my ears, but not my mouth. ??

    And you ARE awesome.

  2. Love the lists.
    1. I, too, despise lilac scent. Sadly, our entire property is lined with them. Headache for a week while they are in bloom.
    2. Me, too!! I know why, though. It was for swearing at the instructor because he told me my driving skills were beyond horrible. He did not apologize. I didn't, either.

  3. I love your list. You are versatile. I think that means something 'else' in the gay community. Or maybe it doesn't. I could be totally making that up. I don't really know.

    I failed my first driving test by driving right over the top of a concrete roundabout. It took me three years to try again - I was so fucking mortified.

    You are totally fucking awesome. Be my lover? Say yes. It's ok, I'm about fifteen thousand miles away.

    Sarah xxx

  4. So I thank #2 for shaping your future.

    Love it.

  5. Kelly - Thanks! And how do you manage to cover your ear but not your mouth? Are you in Cirque de Soleil?

    MomZombie - Ugh, that smell. But congrats on being such a badass!

    Misfits Vintage - Oh, totally being your lover. Time and distance have no meaning for our passion. PS Love that you drove right up on a roundabout. If you're going to fail, fail with style.

    Empress - <3 <3 <3 Seriously.

  6. I like the smell of lilacs, but ONLY when they're ACTUAL LILACS. As a perfume, it's uber disgusting. Ditto for lily of the valley. Actually, the same goes for all flowers. I have a bottle of rose perfume The Man gave to me ages ago, but I don't think I'll wear it until I can pair it with some nice false teeth.

  7. Hahahaha!!! Fab list!!! I feel like I know even better! And you can call me "Helen" or "Katie" or "Crap What's Her Name" anytime (as long as you call me!)!

  8. I will take all of your creme brulee and tiramisu.

    And most of the parents of my kid's friends are forever "Drew's mom," "Ryan's mom," "Alex's dad," etc. I would feel bad about this except that I'm sure that I'm "Matt's mom" to most of them.

  9. The internet is so great because somehow you find out that people are way more alike than we realize.

    This list made me smile...and reminded me how freakin awesome you are.

  10. i have to have one foot out of the blankets at all times, even in the dead of winter. i've been this way since birth, apparently. i even have a baby picture of myself that's just my little baby foot, stuck out between the crib bumper and the mattress.

  11. I love your new adjective boogery. I'm adding it to my collection. You are awesome!

    I LOVE Sudoku, not crosswords. I am really good with patterns and numbers and not so good with words. Differently brained I guess.

  12. I also hate sudoku. probably just cause i'm bad at math. addition and subtraction just don't work for me.

  13. Congrats and yes you are awesome.

    I have the same issue with sleeping, but with my feet. I have to have at least one foot out of the covers or I won't be able to sleep.

  14. Congrats and your list is awesome sauce. true story, I had to ride my bike to driver's ed and the teacher would not let me bring it into the classroom so it got stolen because I did not have a good lock. I hated that guy.

  15. I don't like numbers, either. I often tell my husband that I don't do math. I'm too pretty for math.

  16. For as much as I like you, we have almost nothing in common. Love lilacs, fancy deserts, I'm practically narcoleptic and I remember everyone's fucking name. I guess we'll always have profanity to keep us together.

  17. I managed to misread your first one as "I love the smell of diarrhea." not sure how I managed that!!!!

  18. I have to have one arm out too, even if it's freezing. Once my mother in law told me I should try sudoku. She said "it's about numbers and logic." Then she looked at me and said "oh right. Never mind."

  19. I live for the smell of lilacs! It means spring has finally scared winter the hell out of here. And I agree pretty much about Michael Gambon. Richard Harris was better, but Jim Dale is the BEST! If you haven't listened to the Harry Potter books, you really should!

  20. Great list!! I love it. I also love crossword puzzles and hate Sudoku as well. I also love cheescakes and I can't also sleep with both of my hands under the covers.:-) I think were going to be friends.:-)

  21. oh my kindred spirit, First the Dumbledore (I miss the old Dumbledore too) then you don't like Tiramsu or Creme Brulee..(my soul sista!) and sudoku, I AM ALLERGIC to numbers. I LOVE you......

    I don't hate lilacs, but I do hate Lilies, we were just in the grocery store and the smell of them nearly gave me a migraine. ICK.

    PLUS, YOU ARE AWESOME, congrats on that award you amazing woman!

  22. I have trouble falling asleep if my cat isn't on my head.

    I think I've been single for too long.

  23. Dumbledore dies?! You've ruined it all!!!

    Seriously though, my only office referral in K-12 education was when I wrote on gym equipment, "I'm a mean mother fucker from Sesame Street, gonna kick your ass from street to street."


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.