Thursday, July 21, 2011

Summer Memories

This is a Red Writing Hood prompt - it's fiction, so you may want to pass and just read about my hatred of GP again, if you want.  Or check out Beckham's ass - they're both in the sidebar.  



Remember that time we went to the lake? And you kept trying to get that perfect picture of someone diving off the dock?  Where they'd be in the air, mid-arc, and in shadow, too, so they looked all moody?

I found that packet of pictures - they were stuck together from the damp in a box of old beach stuff. Do you think Purple Heart would even want a beach towel that smells like mold? Probably not, right?

Anyway, I found the pictures and tried to pry them apart.  That mostly worked, except sometimes the backing of one picture would stay stuck to the front of the one behind it and it usually managed to obscure someone's face.  I can guess some of the people, but I think you'd be better at putting names and faces together.  You always were better at keeping track of stuff.  And people.  Hey, do you remember Kyle? What the hell happened to him?  Did he fall off the face of the earth?  The last thing I remember was hearing that he was going to join the army.  Did he end up doing that? 

I keep running into your mom.  She’s doing well – kind of surprised to see me, like I’m not supposed to be here.  I guess I’m not, really.  That was never the plan. You and me, together forever, shaking the dust of this town off of our shoes, or however that hokey saying goes.  You’d probably remember that, too.

I just wanted to send these along to you.  I know that you’d have better memories of that weekend – better recall, more pleasant thoughts.  Isn’t that the weekend you and Bridget hooked up?  I seem to remember someone telling me that, at your wedding.  I guess they didn’t realize that that was the weekend we were supposed to be planning our lives together. 

Or maybe we did, just not with each other.


  1. Very sad.

    Very, very sad.

    I guess that means you're a good writer, huh?

    I'm weeping as if it was me.

    ( me in the story, not me that did this to you)

    Geez. I just can't leave a comment well enough alone, can I)??

  2. This is probably my favorite product of a writing prompt possibly ever. Subtle, non-pretentious, and still beautifully strong.

  3. I love your take on the prompt. It's And it sounds almost like a song. A sad one.

    Great, now I'm all sniffly.

  4. Oh! Honestly, I frequently hate these things. This, I love.

  5. Gah! You killed me with this one. Beautifully written and you kapowed me in the gut at the end. You need to get more writing time, somehow, because I want to buy your book.


    p.s. I hate Bridget

  6. That was really good. And sad. Good and sad. Wish I could write like that. Guess it's a good thing I now where to go so I can read stuff like that instead.

  7. Oh. My. God. Chills, goosebumps, those almost painful but still pleasurable shudders running up my spine, tears at the back of my throat, eyes burning. . . Gut wrenching and absolutely beautiful. Write a book and I will buy a thousand copies.

  8. That sound you just heard? Was the sound of a knife going through my heart. You're just as good at fiction as you are at everything else you do with this blog - and you should share more of it!!!

  9. Aw, so very sad!

    Stopping by to visit you back! Added myself to your Google Friends:)

  10. Incredible! Loved what you did with the prompt.

  11. It rings so true. You've got such an authentic voice. And I absolutely love the description of the photos, stuck together, peelings obscuring faces... and the smell of moldy towel.

  12. well it's official, you can do anything. WOW.

    I went through so many emotions reading this and so many should keep writing it because it's sooo good. I want to know what happens when the letter gets to the hands it was intended for.

  13. BAM! That was awesome. I love how you just strung the thoughts together and said "you".

    I think it's amazing what one picture can do for our writing.

  14. Ouch! What a great letter! Interesting that she was at his wedding. I can't get over the ending, this line was such a great set up for the zinger: I know that you’d have better memories of that weekend – better recall, more pleasant thoughts.

  15. Eek! This is wonderful!

    I ove the format, the strong imagery, the powerful emotions!

    The description of the photographs are really sticking with me as is that killer karate chop ending!

  16. Ack, loneliness, damnit. I love your unique take on it.

  17. Dang! This was sad. The voice was pitch-perfect. I felt like the character was talking directly to me. One of my favorite responses to the prompt today. Very well done.

  18. Great pacing, great tone. I felt like this was a casual conversation but with those sad undertones of regret.

    Great job

  19. Big emotion. Small moments, exploded. Inner dialogue. Organized uniquely. Pacing perfect.
    Yes, you wowed me as well.

  20. I loved the simple conversational tone and the wistfulness of the piece. A little humor woven in (a moldy towel for Purple Heart made me giggle for some reason) kept it sounding like a letter to an old friend. Then, bam! the ending was a punch of emotion all at once.

    Excellent :)

  21. Wow. Love this.

    Really interesting way of engaging the reader and then shifting it at the end.

    And although it's not exactly the same because I could almost relate it threw me even more at the end.

  22. I'm over the moon about this one, Sun.

  23. Can I just say... WOW.

    Reading this, I actually felt hurt, like somebody socked me in the gut. And it made me want to just scream all kinds of f*ck you's to him.

    You're brilliant!


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.