I'm so excited.
Do you know why?
Because my Wu Tang Clan name* would be Crazy Menace.
I know, right? AWESOME.
Actually, I'm excited because I actually updated my Facebook page today. WOW.
Maybe tomorrow, I'll go on Google + and then Klout!
Honestly, I get such anxiety from this whole social media thing - when I got that email from Klout telling me they were on 10 platforms [or something. There was the number 10, but I'm not sure what else. I think I ended up with transitory hysterical blindness from looking at it.], I kind of hyperventilated a little because what the fuck? I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THE FOUR THINGS I'VE SORT OF GOT GOING ON NOW.
I like blogs. They're a nice way to talk and listen and read and get to know people. I like Twitter, because it's like a quick make-out session with people you already like or want to get to know [and isn't the best make-out session with someone you are just getting to know? That frisson of excitement, that newness! That's never going to happen to me again. Fuck.] and it's really fun and fast and I don't feel like I have to commit to a huge emotional rollercoaster. Google + and Facebook and LinkedIn all kind of exhaust me. I feel like I don't have anything witty enough for Google + or warm and fuzzy enough for Facebook or braggy enough for LinkedIn. You know? They're the goody two shoes of the internet and I'm standing in the back, smoking and drinking vodka and cranberry out of a margarine cup.
I have no idea where this post was supposed to go.
Instead, let me ask you a couple of questions:
1. Who is your least favorite member of the Brady Bunch?
2. If you had a nickle, would you throw it in a fountain and make a wish or flick it at the head of that annoying coworker and then feign surprise?
3. Bonus question: Does the fact that someone has had sex with Karl Rove leave you feeling sick to your stomach? Me, too.
* If you're interested in getting your own Wu Tang Clan name, and why the fuck wouldn't you be?, click here. And then tell me what it is in the comments. Because Wu Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with. Diversify your bonds, bitches.