GUEST POST: Inside This Actor's Studio

As I've noted, Tuesdays are going to be a day for my wonderful blogging friends to use this space to let loose.  There are no rules, not even that one rule about not talking about Fight Club.

Do you know Kir, from The Kir Corner? Or on Twitter?  She is fantastic.  A warm-hearted person who is always ready with a kind response [or a foul mouthed word, my favorite], she makes the internet a nice, safe place for people to be.  I LOVE HER.

She's amazing - always involved, always ready to lend a hand.  She's part of so many wonderful blogging circles, I'm sure you've run across her excellent writing, but if you haven't, check out her ongoing saga of Kimmy and David [a work of fiction], or her discussion about shoes [which could also be an ongoing saga], or her honesty about her parenting skills [and shoes].  Check her out. You'll be glad you did. Seriously.

*********************************


I have a bloggy crush on Suniverse, I am very quick to tell her that I think she’s Awesome, on Twitter and everywhere else.

I basically make an ass of myself falling all over her, but if you’re here you know why.

She IS awesome, she IS amazing and she’s smart and witty too.

So when she asked me to guest post, I did a happy dance from my chair and broke out into a sweat about what to write and called my husband and told him that MY CRUSH had asked me to write. For her.

Yes, I squealed. What of it?

So thank you Suni, for having me, for asking me, for making my day.

I *Heart * you big time girlfriend. 

Inside the Kir Corner

I am not an actress, I don’t even play an actress on TV, but from the time I was a very little and emotional child I was considered “dramatic”.

What? Is that such a bad thing? 
Sheesh.

I tap danced and shuffled my way through life, I have such a fondness for scripted television that you would honestly think I am getting paid by the USA, TNT or NBC networks (Big surprise, I AM NOT) and my affinity for anything that even looks like a Broadway musical is apparent as I sit in a theatre and get butterflies before a performance, when all I did was sell Gio for the tickets and I will not be performing for the audience.

So it should also come as no surprise that I have stood in front of my mirror and practiced a Golden Globe speech or two. (Only Golden Globes because everyone there flirts, gets drunk and kisses each other, it might be my only chance to lay one on Pierce Brosnan with no push back)

Plus, if I won a Golden Globe chances are the offers would ROLL in and pretty soon, Mr James Lipton’s people would be calling my people to arrange for me to sit on the stage at Pace University and he’d be able to ask me all those amazing questions from his famous questionnaire.

Have you ever watched “INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO”?

It’s awesome, I love seeing these brilliant actors get all twitchy and ferklempt in front of a man who reminds me of Mr Mole and talks slower than a goat herder from West Virginia.

I adore watching the squirm as he highlights their career and blows so much sunshine up their ass that I am sure they will start Glowing like Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty. (No wonder Actors think they are infallible when you have guys like Lipton around)

There is always a packed audience of students; future actors, producers, directors, and probably a few people just willing to sleep their way to top and the cover of OK magazine; all wide eyed, bushy tailed and frankly nauseating with their questions about how to have a career like Tom Hanks.

Yeah, I laughed out loud at that poor bastard myself.

However, I keep watching and the reason is because I want to hear their answers to the questions that he ask them before he presents (um, releases) them upon “their students”.

So since I am not going to be acting, winning a Golden Globe or sitting on the stage with James anytime soon, I thought the closest I could come is answering these questions for you.

 It will be my Fifteen Minutes of Fame, so please just indulge me.

(as a quick aside, I often wonder why some of the actors don’t prepare these answers, some of them look so taken aback by the things they are being asked that I can’t help myself from wanting to smack their publicist and say “what, no prep work?” and then I remember they are actors. AHHHHH.  The Dumb Blonde strikes again)

And now without further ado: as if this post isn’t long enough:

1.     What is your favorite word:

This one took me a while, because I adore words but lately my favorite word is Love. I feel it in so many ways that I do truly believe it is  “THE ANSWER” to all our troubles.

2.     What is your least favorite word:

I’m going to defer to my sons on this one, NO and WHY. Each of them sucks equally these days.

3.     What turns you on?

A man in a suit. We were recently in NYC, just strolling around during lunchtime in the city and my eyes were flooded with all kinds of men with their sleeves rolled up, ties not quite at their throats in a variety of colors and patterns, I turned to John and said that I was “in heaven” . I am not a uniform type of girl, but the suit, wow, does it for me every.single. time.

4.     What turns you off?

Ignorance in any form, I don’t like when someone can’t see past themselves to see others.

5.     What is your favorite Curse word?

MOTHERF****CKER , hands down it’s my favorite and it just gets the point across doesn’t it?

6.     What sound or noise do you love?

The sound of shoes on a marble floor, the noise of NYC and the boys saying “Mommy” to me.

7.     What sound or noise do you hate?

When people butcher the English language or talk in a condescending way.

8.     What profession other than my own would you like to attempt?

Duh. Actress or maybe Writer, or Pierce’s personal whatever. ;)

9.     What profession would you like not to do?

Um, anything involving snakes, portable potties or standing on my feet all day.

10.  If Heaven exists what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

  (My favorite question of them all and my most emotional response)

“I’m sorry for all the confusion, but please come in and we’ll hug it out”

Thanks for letting me hang here today Suniverse, loved being here.

Xo