Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Homeschooling is looking kind of good right now.

We took the girl to boarding school over the weekend. 

I'm still kind of in denial.

I know she's not home [waking up the first morning back caused a physical ache - god, I'm a fucking wimp], but I feel, most of the time, like she's just away for the week at camp [not God Camp, thankfully] or at my parents or with my in-laws.  I've not quite reconciled myself to the fact that she's pretty fucking far away and won't be home for a while [not that I'm counting down the days, but the number 29 is kind of floating off in the ether].

The trip down was fine - she was a bit nervous, and I was focused on making sure I had all supplies ready and figuring out the optimal position for my heating pad [of course I brought it with me - did you know that Black & Decker makes a thingy that you can plug into your car and then you can PLUG IN a plug? AWESOME! HOORAY FOR TECHNOLOGY!].  The husband was focused on driving, which I applaud, what with me hating driving, and on cursing the Garmin my sister loaned us.  God, he really fucking hates that thing.  It's like it killed his dog.

I think we were all pretty tense, but the husband and I, being the grown ups, had to hide it.  We gave the girl pep talks and encouragement, all the while thinking, "Are we really doing this?"

And then we got to the school, and it was wonderful.  The girls cheered as we walked in to get the girl's dorm key and packet of information, which sounds hokey and I'm sure it kind of is, but was really, really sweet and nice, too.

We moved her stuff in, and suddenly there were five or six girls in there, helping make the bed and unpack and put stuff away, chattering about how much they love the girl's shoes and haircut and Oh My God, Do You Love Stephen Colbert? SO DO WE!

She fell in with them so easily and so wonderfully that we came home a day early.  Seriously.  We asked her if she wanted us to stay and she said, "Well, I'm going to be busy, so I don't want to feel bad that I'm doing stuff and you're here waiting around."

I managed not to cry.

So we came home.  We debated hanging out and enjoying a mini-vacation, but we were both so drained that by the time we got home and went to bed, I slept for almost 11 hours and spent the next day just vegging and reading [Undead and Unworthy, perfect brain candy.  Also, yes, it's true, I read some of Bossypants.  Again. I can't help myself.  It's an addiction.  I may need Betty Ford.] and not really doing much of anything. 

We've talked to the girl a couple of times since, and I'm trying really hard not to call her or text her every. single. second. just because I think of something funny to tell her or because I want to ask her a question or - mostly - because I want to see how she is. 

I miss my baby.


  1. BIG HUG!!!!

    I am so glad she seems to be in a good place with good people.

    I know it'll never be easy, but I hope it gets a little easier with time. You know we're always here if you need to vent, talk, whatever.

  2. Aw, you! It's great that she's settling in so easily and well.

    Read more Bossypants. Tina Fey ALWAYS makes me feel better. *hugs*

  3. Awww, I miss her and she's not even mine. I loathe the day I have to let go. Hang in there, you're doing great!

  4. Wow. You are a frickin superhero. First you HAD A KID, which makes you Wonderwoman in my book, then you LET HER GO BE HAPPY AND INDEPENDENT. OMG!

    I cry all the time for no reason. You have plenty of reason. Go ahead and cry. Then tap dance. I SWEAR it's awesome.

    You're awesome.

    All the time.

    Sarah xxx

  5. I'm so glad that she fell right into place there. You are amazing for just letting her go and doing such a good job with her that she feels comfortable with you leaving. Hugs to you.

  6. That would be hard-but it sounds like she is going to be happy. I hope she has a wonderful year

  7. That girl is gonna end up the awesomest ever. Brava to you for nudging her out of the nest!

  8. Awwwwww... I've read so many posts like this lately, and it brings back memories of when my parents dropped me off for college that first day (I don't yet have children of my own). I remember my mom lingering around while my dad said "okay!" about 100 times and she started tearing up which made me tear up and it was just a mess. BUT it was the best thing that ever could have happened for our relationship. Your daughter misses you more than she'll probably admit, but this is a wonderful experience for her (I know you already know that). And I'm sending you great big *HUGS*.

    Also, I have yet to pick up Bossypants but I have heard such great things. May be up next on the reading list :)

  9. glad she's happy. but i can't imagine. this reads kinda the way my dad's face looked when he left his barely-17-year-old only baby at college.

    thinking of you...

  10. awwww, i'm sending you gigantic hugs from afar... i don't have kids so i can't imagine how tough this is for you. but i can tell you this - you're doing her a huge service - letting her go to explore life. she'll love you forever for this opportunity.

    p.s. i'm looking for a part-time mom. someone to coddle me and lift my spirits from time to time. interested? oh wait, you already do! now it's just official.

    p.s.s. i leave Bossypants in my car and listen to it one out of four car rides... crack.

  11. Thank you all so much. I'm dying trying to be o.k. and not call her. You're all such a help. Truly.

    PS Simone, yes, I will gladly coddle you. XO

  12. My 4yo starts full-time preschool today and I'm DYING, so I think you are a frigging rock star to be semi-functioning right now. Also, I spoke to Tina and she says you're awesome (she hardly minds the stalking at all).

  13. If you homeschooled, you'd have to wear prairie dresses and your hair in a long braid, right?

    There is a certain appeal to that, though.
    And also God Camp.

    (Just kidding. I know there are legions of super-hip homeschoolers. Legions.)

    Hang in there, Mama. You know your girl. You know what she wants, what she needs; and you are giving it to her.

    Amazing. Seriously.

    Now get your hair out of that braid, grab Bossypants and plug in that heating pad.

    It's time to feel better...Or you could just cry. Which I would do.

    Hugs to you. And Kleenex. Or Valium. Whatever it takes.

  14. *snif*

    I hear ya, mama.

    Maybe we can meet for a long day in Chicago?

    I can't even imagine.....

    If she's happy, then what a good thing.

    We can't keep them home just because that's how we'd love it.

    But, your heart, oh....your heart.


  15. We all miss her for you - but it sounds like she's doing as well as can be expected . . . 29 you say?

  16. I remember thinking my parents didn't miss me when I went to college because they didn't contact me much the first semester. They wanted me to acclimate. She might need you more than you think.

  17. You are such an AWESOME mom!!!!!!

    It's so great that she already has a great group of friends! I know it doesn't help you miss her any less :( I'm sure she misses you heaps and heaps too!!!

  18. Bossy Pants, got it! I need a new read.
    Hope the ache will subside...I have no words of comfort, as much as I love having my kids at school all day, I'm not sure I could go for extended periods of time with them, but then again, it would make me happy seeing them so at ease and independent. You're a good mom.

  19. Good job getting her there with all the natural disasters! And getting home again. You know you are doing the right thing for her.

    Take care of yourself.

  20. I just heard all about my co-worker taking her daughter off to college for the first time. I don't know how you moms do it. I'm totally home-schooling my cats.


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