Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A Rube By Any Other Name

Remember how a few weeks ago, the husband and I went down to parents' weekend at the girl's school?

Yeah, that was the beginning of the end for my way cool image of myself.

I mean, yes, I have lived in the suburbs for about 15 years now, and I was born and raised in the suburbs for 18 years, but in the between time? I WAS AWESOME and lived in cool[ish] places and did cool things and was hip and rad and . . . [and now I'm embarrassing myself] . . . well, I wasn't LAME.  I wore cool clothes and went to cool clubs and I managed an ART GALLERY, for fuck's sake. I was COOL.


Yeah, that ship has sailed. 

During parents' weekend - in fact, when we dropped the girl off at school, outside the thriving metropolis - I started to get that feeling that despite my deep desire to go back and be my awesome self and live in a city, A REAL CITY, and be part of that vibrant energy, that maybe that was a dream I should let die.

Because it just made me tired. And feel like a complete rube.  I am ashamed to say I felt most at home at our hotel next to the giant mall. 

I am a suburban loser.

And then this past weekend? We skyped with the girl, who was telling us about the exciting weekend she spent getting her palm read and going to Urban Outfitters and hanging out in a very cool part of the city and having lunch at the hipster burger joint and I just sat there thinking:

1.  I am insanely envious of how fucking cool my kid is;

2.  I am goddamn old and tired;

3.  I need to start doing stuff.

So while perhaps living the dream of being a city dweller isn't something that's going to happen to me, and I should let that go, I think at the very least I should be able to match a 14 year-old for having a cool weekend.

But maybe that will be next weekend.  Because I'm kind of tired, and there's laundry to do, and I haven't even bought Halloween candy yet, much less put out any decorations, and I'm getting a flu shot on Friday, which is stressing me out and I might feel kind of low from that . . . so yeah, for sure, next weekend.

I'm back to awesome.


  1. Sometimes, when I see the high school kids standing at the corner waiting for the bus, I think to myself, "I'm not THAT much different than them"... then I go home and look in the mirror.

  2. I love it! I want to punch the kids these days. Not because they are such mouthy little crappers. well that's part of it. but mostly because I"m so jealous that I'm not oblivious anymore and can't have random jaunts of fun and stupidity anymore. I'm just to darned tired. And thinking of the fun I want to have tires me even before I make it a reality.

  3. city dwelling isn't all it's cracked up to be. except for the crack. the constant smell of urine in the air and giant selection of assholes contained in a small radius... i want a house on a mountain top.

  4. I live in Brooklyn and, quite frankly, don't venture far from approx. 6 blocks in any direction from my house. Why? Because it's tiring. And also, how am I supposed to see the television from there?
    We could and should hang out!

  5. I'm a suburban loser too. Too bad we can't be suburban losers together. Nah. That would take too much effort. We could be suburban losers together but by ourselves in our own homes. Relaxing.

  6. I remember when I used to do things. That was when I was young and single and had fewer bills to pay.

  7. Awwww. The suburbs will kill you. I know, I escaped. God it makes me infinitely happy to say that. Get out!!!!

  8. I know all the blogger chicks say this but we were separated at birth. You are me. I f'ing lived in NYC and dated the 1%ers. Now, I'm in hicksville ( a suburb of Portland but NOT Portland), I wear sweatpants, and I go to bed at 9:30. Sweet Jesus, what happened to us?
    Oh and BTW: you're only really lame when you buy your Halloween candy at Costco two weeks in advance because there's no way you're paying grocery store prices for kids you don't even know or like. Who mostly annoy you.

  9. Toots, do you remember that episode of 30 Rock (of course you do) where Liz is out walking at night and says, "Youths!" and runs away? That's me if I venture out of my damn house past dark. The Serb and I are like seniors on a date, looking at the early-bird specials so we can be home by 9pm.

    p.s. I'm going to get my Halloween candy at Costco today. Your readers are smart!

  10. I miss being cool. Truly.

    I think you are still cool, I mean I go to bed at 9pm and love having dinner at 4pm on the weekends before the restaurnt "gets too busy". Lame-o. That's me.

    Hey I skyped for the first time last I want to see & talk to people . "call me!!" LOL

  11. One of the benefits of NEVER having been cool, is not missing it. I know of which I speak.

  12. I'm reminded of an episode of The Simpsons where the Homer & Marge are explaining that, because they don't care if they're cool or not, they're actually cooler than their kids. Or some bullshit like that.

    Are you watching Suburgatory? So far, it's intrigued me, but that may be because there's a lot of cleavage on the show.

  13. omg....i just had the same feeling about #3, so i will be doing something really crazy AND exciting this weekend (as soon as i can figure out what that is. i may have to move it to the following w/e).

  14. I'm pretty sure I was cool...kinda edgy once. Although I never owned Doc Martins. And I have always loved musical theatre. so. maybe not.

  15. I use to be cool too, not anymore, funny thing, as soon as you get children, your friends no longer want to do anything with you anymore. They even say after the fact, "I didn't think you would want to, OR I didn't think you could get away." So, I am still cool, just to my kids though!!


  16. Wow I never know you ran an art gallery. You were so much cooler than me with my computer jobs. I've always been a nerd. I was a skinny nerd, now I'm not so skinny.

  17. Come visit Boston! You'll get the allusion of being in a city without having to actually live in one. Also, I always travel to visit bloggers, but no one ever comes to visit me. Break the cycle, Sunny. It's time.

  18. Ugh. This is why I shouldn't have a daughter. I actually wanted one until I saw a friend's kindergarten-aged daughter in a crapton of Halloween makeup & my first thought was "that little brat. let's see how she looks when she's my age." Ok, it wasn't my first thought, but it was floating around somewhere in my jealous brain. Don't tell anyone I said (or thought) that, though, 'cause it's pretty sick.

    Getting older sucks. Not that I would know. (sigh)


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