Thursday, November 17, 2011

My Heart Will Go On

My dearest darling,

I'm not sure what happened.

I'm not sure what I could have done differently.

Sure, I neglected you sometimes - but I swear, baby, I loved you. 

I wanted us to be together forever.  I had plans, baby.  Big plans, that we'd live out our lives together.  Maybe as a threesome, but you know? I'm cool.  It would have been amazing.  A rock solid relationship that would have been the envy of all our friends. I knew you'd be there waiting for me, patiently, ready to go at a moment's notice.

And now?  Now, you've gone away from me, and it's been made clear that you aren't coming back.  That we'll never spend all those hours together on the weekend, or furtively in the morning before I run off for work. That our relationship is over, that we're truly not going to be spending those precious moments together.

I still hold out hope that you'll somehow, some way, come back to me and be a part of my life.  Be part of what we once were.

I miss you, baby.  I don't want to replace you, but you've left me no choice.

Good bye, sweet Kenmore Gas Dryer.  We had something special, and now it's gone. 

Yours until the dryer sheets stop spinning,

Suniverse


<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3


Part of
 


[Write a love letter to an inanimate object.]
Posted by at

29 comments:

  1. TiffanyNovember 17, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Appliance Love! I love it!! So what happened to the dryer?

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  2. BlackLOGNovember 17, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Yours until the dryer sheets stop spinning,
    Sorry to have to break the bad news to you but I think you will find that they already have stopped spinning...I can suggest Mr Sunshine until you get a replacement ....

    Top Tip Don’t try and turn him off, he’s one of those cheaper to leave running in the background models, besides if you break him we are all for the high jump....

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  3. Kelly KrewsonNovember 17, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    Awesome! I'm not that attached to my dryer, I don't do the laundry, Hubby does. He may shed a tear if ours ever dies. If it comes to that, the 2 of you can start a support group!

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  4. CrystalNovember 17, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    Oh my!! Appliances are a girls best friend!! Can you imagine being a mama without them!!?? No thanks!

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  5. JackiNovember 17, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    This was so fun! I am adding it to my list of 5 favorite posts of the week (which I will post tomorrow, so stop on by).

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  6. Christine SiracusaNovember 17, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    This put the fear of GOD in me because I thought you were talking about your blog.

    Phew.

    Now that I've gotten MY feelings out of the way...I'm sorry about your dryer. I do understand the fervor of the woman/appliance relationship. I just hope this is opening the window on a new and possibly even better situation for you but you have to take the time to mourn first.

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  7. Meg at the Members LoungeNovember 17, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    The Suniverse is very funny! I get emotional when appliances die, too.

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  8. France RantsNovember 17, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Ah Kenmore. Did you know Sears spelled backwards is sreas? and that somewhere in that word there's a hidden Satanic message, just like in the Beatles records?

    How is NaNaWriteNoMore going??

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  9. karensomethingorotherNovember 17, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    I would write mine to my cast iron frying pan. I love that guy.

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  10. The SweetestNovember 17, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    What sucks is that your new dryer will probably never live up to the old one. They just don't make appliances like they used to.

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  11. SimoneNovember 17, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    i thought you were talking about god.

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  12. alonewithcatsNovember 17, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on.

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  13. L.A.C.E.November 17, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    At first I thought you were talking about your period and hitting menopause. I'm like what a nutter wanting her period for life lol. I clearly have issues. Sorry about your dryer.

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  14. Galit BreenNovember 18, 2011 at 12:08 AM

    Oh no! Your poor dryer!

    (Brilliantly done. :))

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  15. AlexandraNovember 18, 2011 at 1:55 AM

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  16. THE SARCASM GODDESSNovember 18, 2011 at 2:02 AM

    What a beautiful tribute to a very special friend. *tears*

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  17. KirNovember 18, 2011 at 7:08 AM

    Seriously you made me want to screw that dryer...the love was forbidden and sweet...just like I like it ;)

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  18. Lori DyanNovember 18, 2011 at 7:20 AM

    Am I the only one thinking this was for a personal massage toy?

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  19. Middle State/MomZombieNovember 18, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    Ha! I wrote a Dear John letter to NaBloPoMo today. Sorry about the dryer. Mine is on death watch, too.

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  20. FlanneryNovember 18, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    Well that's sad, but sometimes a younger, sexier model is all you need to lift your spirits and make you forget "him"...

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  21. Greta @gfunkifiedNovember 18, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    Aw. *sniffle* I hope you can both move on without any internet stalking/late-night texting/tearful drives around the block to see if the lights are on. ((hugs))

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  22. ArnebyaNovember 18, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    I remember when my dryer died. It coughed. It shook and shuddered. I tried to cover it with a blanket but it shook it off. And then the men came. Those awful men with their gloved hands grabbing at her, pulling her away from her best friend Washer. It was a sad day.

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  23. JohnNovember 18, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  24. JulieNovember 18, 2011 at 5:54 PM

    Dryer sheets?

    Oh crap.

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousNovember 19, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    Oh Suniverse. In this day and age no appliance is to be trusted. They are all schmucks. I'm sorry but it is true.

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  26. AnonymousNovember 21, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    When I washer died,his buddy went too. The dryer was ready to go, but we needed the washer and dryer to start life at our house at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  27. UnknownNovember 21, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    I'm already planning my vacuum cleaner's eulogy just in case. I love that damn thing.

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  28. mypixieblogNovember 23, 2011 at 9:56 AM

    So sorry to hear of your loss. When I moved out of my last apartment I lost the washer AND dryer. I mourned for months.

    My deepest sympathies.

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  29. This One Time at Art CampAugust 28, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    What the fuck are you doing to your appliances Suni!?!? *GRIN*

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.

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