My dearest darling,
I'm not sure what happened.
I'm not sure what I could have done differently.
Sure, I neglected you sometimes - but I swear, baby, I loved you.
I wanted us to be together forever. I had plans, baby. Big plans, that we'd live out our lives together. Maybe as a threesome, but you know? I'm cool. It would have been amazing. A rock solid relationship that would have been the envy of all our friends. I knew you'd be there waiting for me, patiently, ready to go at a moment's notice.
And now? Now, you've gone away from me, and it's been made clear that you aren't coming back. That we'll never spend all those hours together on the weekend, or furtively in the morning before I run off for work. That our relationship is over, that we're truly not going to be spending those precious moments together.
I still hold out hope that you'll somehow, some way, come back to me and be a part of my life. Be part of what we once were.
I miss you, baby. I don't want to replace you, but you've left me no choice.
Good bye, sweet Kenmore Gas Dryer. We had something special, and now it's gone.
Yours until the dryer sheets stop spinning,
[Write a love letter to an inanimate object.]