It never ceases to amaze me that I paint myself into a corner by delaying delaying procrastinating and delaying some more.
I do it with everything. What I can put off, I will. What I cannot put off, I will do, until I realize that I can probably put that off, for a while, too.
I think that's the worst lesson ever learned - that you can put shit off for-fucking-ever [or what feels like it] because unless you are in charge of a shuttle launch or are giving birth, you can delay pretty much everything so long as you have a valid excuse and actually end up doing what you say you're going to do. I'm not saying I put off everything all the time [maybe 90% of the time], and I'm certainly not saying I will miss a deadline, because unless I am dead, I will have something to you when it's due. But what I am saying is that I will tell myself that I can fuck around in the evenings and not work on something because I've got DAYS AND HOURS left to dawdle.
It's the self-imposed deadlines that are the worst for me. Next come the deadlines that are other-imposed, but which you know you can reach so long as you make a big push right before the end. I am facing both of those right now.
I'd like to be at least half done with writing my novel, but I've given myself until the end of this year [Yes! 8 days!] to have it half done. And also having a sample chapter of my memoir done. I've got no agent, no publisher, no deadline. Except for the fact that I want to be a writer and am realizing, as time passes, I need a job where I don't deal with people.
And sure, my life would be infinitely easier if I spent 10 or 15 minutes each day for the past week or two getting ready to have everyone at my house on Christmas day, but what would I do on Saturday? Relax?
So instead, I'll be frantically finishing up gift shopping and wrapping and cookie baking and food making and cleaning and decorating the tree. And sadly ignoring the holiday cross stitch [Happy Fucking Holidays] that I neglected to make again this year. And, hopefully, writing.
Procrastination. I think that may be my holiday tradition and my New Year's Resolution all wrapped in one. It's an ass kicker and a monkey on my back at the same time.
Do you procrastinate? Is there something you haven't finished yet? Tell me I'm not alone.