So 2012 has decided to welcome me with open arms full of the plague.
I've come down with something wretched, but actually have a doctor's note to work from home all week, so that's awesome. As is the fact that I'm hopped up on inhalers to keep my lungs fresh and clean.
I had to go to the doctor and the pharmacy to get an antibiotic, which sucked, because 1. Those pharmacy fuckers took FOREVER to give me my pills and 2. They tried to give me the same antibiotic but from 2 different manufacturers, so the pills would look different.
I, looking mighty fine for someone who had been awake since 4:15am [when I woke up from having a dream which contained not only a bed, but also Woody Allen and Corbin Bernsen - let's just never speak of that again, shall we?], gasping for breath and wondering if I was actually dying or having an anxiety attack or freaked out about what had transpired in the dream [NOTHING. NOTHING HAD TRANSPIRED.], very calmly and politely told the pharmacy gal that I had crippling anxiety about taking medication, so she'd either need to send that off to another pharmacy where I could get all of the same kind of pill or fix it.
She, taking in my stained clothing, beady eyes and Bellatrix Lestrange hair, chose to fix it, which somehow didn't take NEARLY as long to count out my pills as it did the first time. Maybe she had a better grasp of the numbers?
And then I had to go to another drug store to get some Ricola, because the pharmacy at my doctor's office only carries Ludens, and if I want to eat a sugar cube, I'll just eat a goddamn sugar cube. That took longer than I thought it would, because there was some sort of sale going on and there were two different sizes of packaging and my addled mind couldn't quite figure out if it actually benefited me to buy the big bag or 2 of the small ones [FYI, at Walgreens, the big bag is a rip off].
Finally, I got home and started working, which also took longer than I thought it would, as not only is my brain completely addled, but in addition to not only having the plague, the following bullshit occurred in the space of 24 hours:
*** The girl went back to school and was immediately homesick and upset, which upset me, because skyping with your baby who is despondent is a monstrous piece of shit that is doubly awful when compounded with mouthbreathing because your sinuses are full of cement.
*** My mother is off to the homeland with her sisters because her mother is in the hospital and not doing well. This is . . . not fun for anyone.
*** Fucking Maytag's gas oven managed to last 2 years before the igniter busted and needs to be replaced for two hundred mother fucking dollars.
*** I have 2 freelance deadlines coming up. One tomorrow and one on Saturday. HOORAY.
*** I don't have any clean hand towels in the bathroom.
*** I haven't showered today and that always makes me feel like a homeless person.
*** My head hurts.
*** Goddamn Democrats keep emailing me for money. Hey, fuckers, if you actually shilled on my behalf, I would gladly give you some cash. Until then? Suck it.
*** I got my period.
Usually, I would look at all this and think, "Fuck all of it, I'm getting under a blanket and watching Scrubs until March," and despair about how my life is a misery and 2012 is going to blow, but not now, not this time.
This time? I'm looking at this as a positive.
All of this has happened and I didn't swear at anyone or think about running anyone over or cry or feel like nothing will ever get better.
I am better than this.
We all are.
Did you have a bullshit start to your new year? Let's pretend it's January 1st NEXT Sunday, o.k.?
**** I want to edit this to add that I can't explain to you all well enough how happy every comment/tweet/email you send me makes me. Seriously. When I'm ready to tear my hair out because I can't focus, I see that I have email and find a gem of a comment and it reminds me that I CAN do this, all of this, because you are all there with me, helping me just by being you.
And, because I can't end this on such a sweet note as that would make all of us uncomfortable, let's do a primal scream - ready? Ready!