Thursday, January 19, 2012

Oh, the benevolent internets.

SOPA/PIPA/KELLY FUCKING RIPA

Yes, a day late.

I tried to black out my blog yesterday, but couldn't figure it out.  So I put the STOP SOPA thing on my avi, where it will remain until I figure out how to get it off - good luck with that.  It will be there until the internet explodes.

Here's the thing - this is bad policy.  Being able to shut down sites because of perceived transgressions is not a good idea for anyone. It's reactionary at best and ridiculous at worst.  I am in an interesting, albeit not lone, position of being able to address this as a

writer
lawyer
blogger

As a writer, I know that it is important the my words are my own, particularly those I create for pay and that are used as they should be.  And I've been lucky enough that my work has never been plagiarized, and unlucky enough that my words are evidently not good enough for you fucking wankers to want to steal. WELL FUCK ALL OF YOU. 

Also, nobody has cited my academic papers and presentations, which I also find to be bullshit.  Maybe I need to swear more in them. Or less. I don't know.


As a lawyer, this is just ridiculously bad policy that will only be enforceable by those with deep pockets and spastic trigger fingers.  Go ahead and guess who they are.  Also, a lot of this is addressed by laws already on the books, so just use those. RIGHT?  PS During a copyright law session, a copyright lawyer said he had been to an international copyright conference full of lawyers and guess what? In this international group of LAWYERS who are responsible for ferreting out misdeeds of pirating, guess how many pirated music, etc.? ALL OF THEM. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Yeah, so there's that.

And as a blogger, I find this ridiculously bad policy because you know what? If I want to talk about what a fucking cunt Gwyneth Paltrow is and how offensive GOOP is, I should be able to. 
"I know!  I brought this on myself!"
Because of the 1st Amendment and also because, Jesus Christ, she is such an abomination.

The first image that comes up for "Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP stupid"
 I know, right?

*******
PS Apropos of nothing, I finally figured out what Favstar is. And by figured out, I mean I clicked on it, went, "Huh." and then closed the tab.  I'll just be famous in my own mind on Twitter. Just like the rest of my life.

31 comments:

  1. I was mesmerized by musician Juliana Hatfield's twitter yesterday. She was a big alternative artist in the 90s and now is a niche artist taht depends on the internet to sell records and promotion. She uses twitetr really well. She pointed out that google and other websites make huge money and SOPA is more about protecting their bank accounts than FRee Speech. I agree with her but I also think the wild west nature on the internets is what makes it viable.

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  2. Apropos of nothing, I like the term apropos of nothing. Actually I can't really appropriately use the term apropos of nothing in this context since the comment itself is directly related to something you wrote.

    I just wanted to use it.

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  3. i'm following your blog now.

    You has a great article. I'm very interesting to stopping here and leaves you a comment. Good work.

    Lets keep writing and share to us and other.

    Nb: Dont forget to leave your comment back for us.

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  4. Why don't I know about GOOP. Heading there now! All I need is one more reason to dislike that pretentious bitch!

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  5. How did I not know you're a lawyer? Are you a copyright lawyer? I ask for a reason totally unrelated to sopa and pipa...I may need one...or at least advice from one. DM or email me if you're that kind of lawyer.

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  6. You completely put this in perspective by citing our God given right to trash Gwyneth Paltrow. I also don't know where I'd be if I couldn't write about what a bunch of losers are on the Food Network, either! Hi, Sandra Lee!

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  8. this bullshit bill is the government's way of enforcing more control. if we give in, they know they can go further.

    i hope your readers are doing something to fight against this bullshit. we should use our voices while we still have them...

    remember how anyone in their right mind thought the government would NEVER do a bail out?

    exactly.

    sign the petitions and call your senators - we still count.

    peace. out.

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  9. I tweeted something to the effect that SOPA is like the beginnings of a dystopian novel, only it's real. It scares the pants off me. 2012 really is the end of days if this goes through.

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  10. I quote you all the time. Why just today I told a slow driver to fuck himself (trademarked Suniverse).

    And yea this is ridiculous because Paltrow must be made fun of!!!

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  11. Get this - since they plan on blocking access to websites by using the site's domain name, if one Blogspot blogger is found in violation, all Blogspot blogs will be affected.

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  12. What is Favstar? One more thing for me to not know about, just like Klout..came and went.

    People will figure out a way to steal, and no one should kid themselves about that.

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  13. Imma gonna favstarfuck you ;-)

    What keeps me from getting all worked up over SOPA (Portuguese for SOUP, by the way, which can be very tasty) is how un-enforceable it is.

    Though, if I ever heard of someone taking away your right to call Gwenneth a cuntface, you better believe I'll take their servers offline.

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  14. I love that you hate Gywenth as much as I do, and her GOOPy shit

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  15. What the hell does "nourish your inner aspect" mean anyway?

    Is it a euphemism for vagina?

    Because really. She looks like she could use some nourishment. In several areas.

    p.s. I would steal your words but no one would believe I'm that funny. Fuck.

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  16. Fuck. I left a comment, where the fuck did it go? Was it censored already? Shit.

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  17. Gwyneth "feels sorry for people that are negative"....but I guess when you don't have to get up and go to a job every day, figure out how to pay all the damn bills, and get one goddamned minute to yourself away from your family you can just be a fucking sunshiny ball of narcissistic optimism all day.

    And there needs to be a place for us to say that.

    Oh, now that I know I can steal your shit, I'm gonna maybe have to steal your shit.

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  18. DOES THAT SAY "NOURISH THE INNER ASPECT"?!? Good god that's retarded.

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  19. Perhaps the end of the world is coming. Is the destruction of the internet in the Book of Revelation? If Gweneth Paltrow gets destroyed I will be sad. It's so much fun to rag on her.

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  20. Have you seen the Gwyneth/Danny project, where a guy pretends like he's doing the Julie/Julia thing but with her cookbook? It's a bit of a one trick pony but it's HI-larious for its one trick.

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  21. HehHeh...fucking wankers. You slay me in so many ways..eg, Gwen Paltrow. And yet besides the comedic touch, you have a brain and thus gave a sound tutorial on SOPA (which I originally misinterpreted as SOPAPILLA, a delicious fried doughy treat I used to enjoy when I lived in Southern California, where they knew how to cook them, unlike here in N. Illinois where they are a greasy square of dough, and I was like, huh? sopapillas? but then figured out what you meant).

    But damn you, I am too lazy too figure out Favstar, why didn't you give me an explanation on that??

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  22. OMG - do NOT get me going on Gwyneth. *hork*

    Word.

    XO

    A.

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  23. No need to worry Sweets, even IF SOPA and PIA passed, you would be unaffected, You and your brilliant blog in the US. Aren't you? Or are you one of those seksi Russian Spy types, whose hidden her true identity 4 layers deep?

    Oh shit, I have said too much.

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  24. I like being famous in my own mind... i've even managed to mimic the paparazzi like flashing of several cameras in my bathroom by placing mirrors angled just so... I have zero life.

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  25. I had no idea you're a lawyer! Me too! Well, I used to be - before going inactive.

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  26. Two thoughts come to mind (I know, a record, right?):

    1) You have the funniest comments EVAH.
    2) I kinda wanna sue somebody just so I can retain you (officially)

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  27. Okay, clearly I know shit about this SOPA thing. What the fuck it's affecting blogger? I think I must go back under my rock. Also what the fuck is with all this piracy shit? When I was a teen we had tape recorders and "pirated" our music from the fucking radio. It wasn't called "piracy' then, it was called putting all your favorite songs onto one medium so you didn't have to fuck around with changing tapes, rewind and fastfoward. God, why does the government have to fuck with everything fun, just because they are a bunch of unhappy douche wagons?

    As for GOOP. what the bloody hell is that? It sounds like something my daughter threw up last week during her bout of pneumonia. Is Gweneth Paltrow aware that people can tell she clearly talks out her ass?

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  28. Why is Kelly Ripa in the title???

    If you explained that GP could shut you down for pointing out how stupid she is, everyone would get how stupid SOPA is. Do the internet a favor!

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  29. I just asked Mrs. Birdman why Gweneth Paltrow was so cunty, and she went off. Now I believe you, and shall never doubt you again. Stupid cunty GP.

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  30. I just asked Mrs. Birdman why Gweneth Paltrow was so cunty, and she went off. Now I believe you, and shall never doubt you again. Stupid cunty GP.

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.