Thursday, January 12, 2012

She who hesitates is shit out of luck.

Since about December, I've been stalking Talbots [what? again, I'm old.] by going online and putting all the cute things I want to buy in my shopping cart.  I check it periodically, particularly when I get a SALE email, and I've been watching the price whittle down and down and down, but never down far enough for me to justify spending that kind of money on clothes for myself [for the husband and the girl? Sure thing! Not a problem! For me? Eh, that shirt I bought 4 years ago that keeps shrinking in the wash so it now shows off my blindingly white belly when I move is fine! So long as I don't move!].
Until the other day, when I got an ADDITIONAL 50% OFF email and even though I was at work, you'd better believe I jumped on that website and checked to see what the price was. 

And it was lower, but not super low.  So I looked at the things in my cart and decided that two of the same dress that I'd never actually tried on but were now final sale could probably go.  And then the price was pretty reasonable, for the number of items, and I started fantasizing about where I'd wear each piece and how much better my life would be when I was fashionably dressed.

I put a reminder on my phone to order the clothes when I got home. I'm not sure why I waited. I just did.

And then I got home and looked at the clothes again, and did some work and thought, yeah, I'm doing this.

But I still hesitated.

See, I hate spending money on myself.  It's completely fucked up.  I will buy something and then, immediately, realize, OH MY GOD, WITH THAT MONEY I COULD HAVE . . . whatever.  Paid a bill. Gone grocery shopping. Bought a kidney on the black market.  Something.  But for the husband and the girl? Not an issue. I was going to spend a couple of hundred dollars on a ton of clothes that would make getting dressed a lot easier, which should be o.k. Particularly since, as the husband reminded me, I had easily spent that in shipping stuff to the girl at school.

I agreed, and realized I need to be kinder to myself [GO, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!], so I went back to the computer and hit CHECKOUT  and . . . all but three things were gone. GONE. SOLD OUT. GONE AWAY.

I was pretty fucking sad. 

But it made me realize that I need to just do something when I want to do it.  I need to stop hesitating.

So I've done it.  I've registered for BlogHer 12.

Any of you bitches going to be there?

You'll recognize me.  I'll be wearing the half-shirt.


  1. I feel I'm not ready for BlogHer. This just isn't my year. Maybe by next year I'll feel worthy of being in the same place with all the amazeball bloggers I so love to read. But I can't wait to read all about it!

  2. Sorry about the Talbot's thing (shhh, don't tell - I shop there too). And hope you have a great time at BlogHer12! Yay, you!

  3. Yay!

    I went to my first BlogHer this year and would love to go next year.

  4. I simply cannot picture you wearing Talbots (dirty Spencer's t-shirts, yes, but pastel sweaters sets, no). You truly must be one undercover-muther.

    Wish I was going to BlogHer. But alas I'm poor. Life sucks.

  5. You SO don't strike me as a Talbot's lady- not even a little bit. I'm kind of loving the dichotomy, though.

    I'd love to go to BlogHer. I'm not even remotely worthy, but fuck it! Why not?

  6. half shirts were hot in the eighties. Go you!

    I do the same thing. If I do pull the trigger I come up with exhausting explanations to my wife (who does not give a shit) about why it was justified that I spent $15 on a book, or bought a pair of shoes for $60.

  7. Yay! I don't know about BlogHer. Definite maybe.

    (And you should definitely get some clothes for yourself!)

  8. YAYAYAY! Good for you, you're worth it. I'm going to look into Blogger 12. I just lost my job and I'm going to a writer's conf at the end of the month in San Deigo, soooo, I'll have to see where my money is.

    You might hesitate on buying "stuff" for yourself, but never hesitate on loving yourself. I'm so happy for you!

  9. I don't know anything about this Talbot's store, but I do go to websites and randomly put things into the shopping cart that I don't really intend to buy.

    I won't be going to BlogHer. It don't even know where I'll be living then. My life is so up in the air.

  10. Oh yeah... I joined Blogher like two years ago, but I never really figured out how it worked. I probably got distracted or something. But good for you for registering - that's awesome.

    I also have the exact same problem buying clothes for myself. I just can't bring myself to do it - why, why?!

    Also, yes, you should be good to yourself. You're awesome, you know it, I know it, all your readers know it. FACT!

  11. I would be SO FRICKIN HAPPY to come that my brain would probably explode. If I can save up the money and get over my paralysing claustrophobia in the next six months, I will totally be there. It's only 15,988 kilometers (9,935 miles).


    Sarah xxx

  12. BlogHer won't know what hit them (in a good way), until, that is, they catch a glimpse of that hot white (white hot?) belly...

  13. I'm, also, very hesitant to buy anything for myself, but won't bat an eye at paying near-obscene prices for someone else. Fortunately, most of my clothes right now are actually kind-of "new to me" because I'm in a real health kick, and I haven't worn some of this stuff since the last time I wasn't morbidly, I mean was on the trim side.

    Oh, and I might be at BlogHer '12, also, despite the fact that I have a penis.

  14. In Zoey's words, "It's Ok, we call each other bitches."

    See you there, Big B.


  15. Fate took care of it for you! OH STUPID FATE! Yeah, I HATE that, so I try not to let that happen too often. It blows.

  16. Hope Williams BradyJanuary 13, 2012 at 2:31 PM

    Yesterday I used my DH's credit card to buy a $9 shirt at Walmart because DH doesn't give me enough in my monthly budget to allow for such extravagances. And I feel guilty about it, like not sure it was okay or if I was worth it or something. So I out-pathetic all you guys!!!

  17. Grrr, I do that all the time and end up with a shopping cart full of mismatched items. Sucks.

    Enjoy BlogHer, be sure to come back with some posts and pics.

  18. Well damn. Now I need to go. I have to find a way to make this work...!

  19. Oh my god, that final line made me laugh. I wish to hell I was going. Extended families decided to plan August vacations, the bastards. Definitely next year, though. Fer sure. I'm so jealous of you though.

  20. I have the same "family staying with us" limitation working next summer.


    It is Bill's family. And maybe I can just duck out for BlogHer and they won't notice. It's my mother-in-law's 70th birthday and the ENTIRE FAMILY (like 18 of them) are staying at our house for a week.

    So yeah. Now that I think about it, I'll go.

    These guys will be busy packing up my Xmas decorations and taking down the Christmas lights anyway, right?

    Because that's what you do in the summer.

  21. Ack! I totally relate. I wear out my clothes to the death and then feel like everything needs replacing. Then I never do.

    Anyway. Can't wait to meet you at BlogHer12!

  22. Hmmm...Every year I say, okay maybe I'll go and every year I end up not going. I don't care about making the best of my blog, commercialization, blog pitches, blaa, blab, blab, dee, blah. Nope, don't give a rat's ass about making my blog the best it can be. But, I would LOVE to go get my drink on with all of you lovely blogging beyatches.

    And go buy more shit for yourself! I do. All. The. Time. Because, just like the hair dye commercial tells us, we're worth it.

  23. Oh man, zinger, did not expect that ending.

    BlogHer'12 - Seattle? I have fond martini memories of Seattle which includes a work meeting and a beanie baby shaped like a penis, but that's another story.

    Have fun, you will have to tell me about it...

  24. Seriously, where were you born? I KNOW we're related because we carry that mutant Talbots sale gene. Only this year I managed to ignore it completely so I've got no excuse.

    Much as I'd love to stalk you (you'll be easy to find in a dingy white half-shirt) I can't swing NYC these days. The next time they hit the west coast I'll go.

  25. If I go, you'll be able to spot me as the person w the torn hems (because I hate laying for alterations) and the potential for my pants to fall down since I hate buying new ones and wear them until they have the staying power of cotton candy.

    Can we form some type of society for this?

  26. I have the opposite problem. I asked Santa to pay my Visa bill because I had been VERY good to myself. He laughed at me.

    Call me & I'll help you pull the trigger.

  27. I'm looking forward to our adventures!!! And with your cussing you will totally fit right in in NYC!

    But look on the bright side you can finally buy that black market kidney you've been coveting!


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.