One more story about my fabulous surgery, and I swear, I'll stop:
The husband drove me to get my STAPLES plucked from my abdomen. That went fine, with the husband sitting in the really tiny room with me laying on the bed thingy, the doctor plucking STAPLES from my belly and some resident standing there pretending that this whole thing was a lot more fun than texting her friends.
The husband was slightly mortified when I told the doctor I had some questions and one of the questions I asked was when we could start having sex again [the husband and I] [NOT the doctor and I, although I'm sure he's a lovely man and wild in the sack] [What? I needed to know.] [About me and the husband, not about the doctor]. I was slightly put off that the doctor told me to go ahead with my questions so he could answer them while he was removing the STAPLES, because YOU NEED TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO THAT SHIT, but he did a good job answering questions and the husband did not spontaneously combust or flee from the room. Mostly because he was stuck in the corner and couldn't get out.
Anyway, after that bit of mortification, we headed to the elevator and as we were walking, we ended up going single file because an elderly couple was coming toward us down the ridiculously narrow hallway. The woman was slowly making her way, using her silver and red cane to aid her, and her husband was behind her, using his silver and blue cane to shuffle along. Just after we passed them, the husband turned around to me, and we both said at the same time, "We're getting matching canes."
I think this may be less a story about surgery than it is about true love.
I would rather have matching scooters, because she would find it harder to beat me with a scooter.
ReplyDeleteI would rather have matching scooters, because she would find it harder to beat me with a scooter.
ReplyDeleteAwww, matching canes are surely a sign of true love. Plus, totally great way of smacking people who get on your nerves. (When you reach that venerable age, smacking people who get on your nerves no longer counts as assault...I'm pretty sure it counts as aerobic exercise and is encouraged by 3 out of 4 doctors.)
ReplyDeleteThat is a sure sign. Hold on to him.
ReplyDeleteLaugh!
ReplyDeleteSo how long do you have to wait?
I would have asked that! Also matching canes rock!
ReplyDeleteWhile that might have seemed touching at the moment, let me blow up your husband's spot.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't referring to canes of the far distant future as old people.
He was referring to canes that will be needed after haven't-had-sex-in-a-long-time sex.
I'm so behind on blogs. I can't believe you had surgery. Ack! Double Ack! I am sorry, but I'm glad you got to embarrass your husband that way.
ReplyDeleteTRUE LOVE IS MATCHING CANES.
ReplyDeletePut that shit on a T-shirt. It's your "good night and good luck."
Removing the staples from your body... Aaacckkhh bbbuuuurrrlll fffffrrriiiieieecccclllll just the words make me feel all yaaackkyyy. Ack.
ReplyDeleteWell, obviously I suck, since I didn't even know this has been happening, as I've been off in hats-and-tra-la-la-frocks-lah-di-da-pretty-pretty land.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
OMG Surgery and drugs and couches that conspire against you and (yack) staples and anaesthetic and it's all just frickin AWFUL.
However, matching canes? Awesomeness. Count me in. Adopt me. I'm coming over.
Sarah xxx
So sweet, I can't even utter a snide comment. It would be like making fun of puppies.
ReplyDeleteSurgery really brings out your romantic side. I like it.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Cane comment aside, the fact that he didn't bail during the STAPLE REMOVAL PROCESS proves that you have a love more enduring than that of Wesley and Buttercup (or even Wesley and Liz Lemon).
ReplyDeleteAwwwww.
ReplyDeleteThough the first part reminds me of a joke: After surgery, Julie asked her doctor when she can start having sex again. Dr. Fernandez stumbled, saying "that's the first time someone ever asked that of me after a tonsillectomy."
When Bill and I are too old to walk without canes, we'll just stay home and have sex all day.
ReplyDelete(what?)
My husband and I have a pact: No matching anything.
ReplyDeleteThat being said we have another pact where he doesn't watch anything inserted or plucked from my body.
Nothing says true love as loud and clear as matching canes. Ha! I hope you're doing well with recouping from your surgery.
ReplyDeletefirst of all, i hope you're feeling better. sending you hugs.
ReplyDeletesecond of all, what part about getting your staples removed with your husband in the room made you think this would entice him into bed?
just saying. i threw up a little and i wasn't even there.
Just glad you are better.
ReplyDelete