|This is what I want to tell my body, but it probably would and then where would we be?|
** My bladder has weird Pavlovian-training thing, in that sometimes if I even think I have to go pee, I'm already going. Or sometimes it's the overachiever, jumping the gun as soon as I cross the threshold into the bathroom.
** My muscles aren't as limber as they once were, in that I can pull something by simply drying myself off or bending over to open the oven door. Evidently I should live in filth and only eat stove-top food.
** My sense of where I end and the walls begin has completely evaporated, in that I'm constantly sporting bruises on my arms and shoulders from bumping into walls that I SWEAR TO GOD weren't there when I walked past earlier.
** My ears have developed a weird tic where any music played by others is just too damn loud, in that I'm constantly telling the husband and the girl to turn down that crap [ugh, seriously, there's no reason for Radiohead]. Oddly enough, I have to turn up my favorite songs because I can't quite hear them well enough.
I keep thinking if I just work out more or sleep better or take enough vitamins I can once again walk gaily through my day, not worrying that I'll end up with a headache because I didn't hydrate properly.
What fucked up thing have you noticed about your body as you've aged? Please don't tell me it's that you've become better at metabolizing supersized extra fake butter popcorn. I don't think we can be friends if that's the case.