Seriously. I've started questioning myself, my beliefs, my whole state of being. I'm not sure what to do about these things, but I've noticed them, and they frighten me.
* I've found myself watching the CBS Morning News with Charlie Rose, because evidently I'm not only a liberal, but also 75 years old.
* Speaking of old, I went to the symphony the other night with friends and I found myself looking with envy at the old ladies who clearly did not give a fuck, and wore their orthopedic tennis shoes with their nice outfits. I WANT TO BE THAT OLD LADY. I'm probably closer than I think. I'll see you in Boca Raton.
* I've taken a sudden interest in IRAs. And not the fighting Irish IRA. No. The money kind. Like I suddenly turned into an accountant. [Nothing against my accountant friends. Yes, I have them.]
* I found three chin hairs in MY DREAM last night. WHAT THE FUCK, BRAIN?
* If I go out on a Saturday night, without fail, I end up with a headache on Sunday EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOT BEEN DRINKING. This makes me want to START just drinking everything on Saturday nights because if I'm going to have a hangover, I'm going to get blackout drunk first. That just seems fair.
So. What weird stuff have you been doing?