Thursday, May 2, 2013

Fractions suck.

Today I found out that a guy I think is cute is literally, truly, half my age. 

I am old enough to be his mother.  And not his babies-having-babies mother.  His yeah-it's-totally-normal-to-have-a-child-at-that-age mother.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I mean, skeeved, obvs, but also . . . nope, just skeeved.

I mentioned this dilemma to the husband, who advised me to get over it and "Just Cougar it up," and I'm trying, but . . . man.  Half. My. Age.

I'd hate to think that my errand running has been reduced to fantasies of surprise double coupons rather than the "Carry your bags to your car, ma'am?" bowchickabowwow vignettes that used to rule my thoughts, but I can't seem to get past this. 

Advice? Thoughts? Secret crushes that have rocked your world?


  1. I'm sad to say that the only thing I've been fantasizing about lately are frozen, raw chocolate chip cookies that poof up beautifully in the oven. My husband bought a bag of these babies from a colleague trying to raise money for her kid's school. These tiny cookies pack about 150 calories each.

    But oh, oh, the velvety texture of the brown sugar mixed to perfection with the golden butter and farm fresh eggs and high quality (and no doubt high-glutenly) flour. It's enough to give me a full body shudder, a shudder much stronger than the one I achieve by securing a $1 off of a box of Cheerios during double coupon dazes at the local Marianos.

  2. I love your husband. Just cougar it up already. Now I want cookies AND illicit sex with a bag boy.

  3. I love that you discussed your secret crush with your husband. My last crush was gay. And really young, college age.

    My coworker has a son who just graduated from medical school. I thought she was my age. Then I realized I could have a kid that age. Made me feel really old.

  4. I remember thinking it was creepy of me to lust after Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but then I decided that if he's over 30, it's all good. Nearly 30 might even cut it in a pinch....


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