Sorry I've been among the disappeared lately [have you even noticed?].
I've been ugh. Sad. Despairing. Despondent.
I've struggled with anxiety and depression for years, and recently had a very hard patch.
I've gotten better about discussing anxiety and my weird need-for-clean OCD tendencies. I can even talk about - in a facile way - my PPD. But depression? Is hard to discuss, because there is still some part of me that feels like if I name it, if I talk about it, I invite it in. If I act like depression was limited to PPD, then everything now is fine. Just fine. No mention, no invitation, no entry.
Well, it came in and kicked my ass anyway.
I had a really bad spell where it took all of my energy to do the bare minimum of work and home, where showering was exhausting, where brushing and flossing my teeth seemed insurmountable. And where I cried at work and at home and in the car. And where I thought about how miserable every single part of my life was. All of it. Worthless.
If you've struggled, you know what it's like - the exhaustion and
misery. If you haven't, please do me a favor. That person who you
think is snotty and won't engage? May just be trying to hold it together
and not collapse into a heap of tears or nothingness.
Let's be nicer to each other. And be nicer to ourselves.