Friday, June 28, 2013

That's it. I'm done.

I strive to be a better person.

I know that I'm pretty fucking awesome all the time, but I often feel like I need to move out of my comfort zone and grow.  Isn't that what life's about? Stretching yourself? Making change? Becoming some sort of uberperson? Right?


I've finally admitted to myself that my lack of interest in Nature in the Summertime is complete, and that's o.k.  I don't have to want to spend time outside.  I can enjoy some fall foliage and a winter walk. That's plenty.  I don't need to embrace all the seasons.  People don't like Winter, and that seems to be o.k.  But hating on Summer? Who does that?

I do that.

For years, I'd feel myself hedging, thinking things like, This is the year I'm going to do more yardwork; or This year, maybe I'll sit on the deck more; or even Oh, if we go on a nice vacation, we should go strolling through gardens. Or, well, NOT camping, for sure, because that's too much, but maybe look at a lake? Because doesn't Summer = Vacation = Nature? A time for the great outdoors?

While I am appreciative of all the fine work Nature does, what with changing carbon dioxide into oxygen and providing settings for horror movies, I really, truly, have no interest in being part of it in the summertime.

I am a city girl. My idea of a great Summer vacation is spending time in a climate controlled museum, perhaps looking at pictures of Nature.  I'll even go so far as spending time at a pool, so long as there are decent public toilets nearby.  I'll go to the beach, but I've got a time limit on that, because of the unrelenting vastness of the Nature surrounding me.  That's an awful lot of Nature to handle.

I don't like to eat outside in the Summer. Not for a picnic, not on our nice deck, and certainly not on the sidewalk or makeshift patio at a restaurant.  Our ancestors did not climb out of the primordial soup in order to have to eat where they landed. They evolved so that we could embrace indoor seating.

You know that excited feeling everyone gets when the weather starts to turn sunny and mild, and sidewalk seating is suddenly available at every eatery? That giddiness, because it's sunny, and we should enjoy the fresh air? I get the complete opposite feeling, because I know people are going to want to sit outside, to "enjoy the weather" and I just want to enjoy my food. With as little interference from Nature as possible.  I'm already going to be searching for any imperfection in my place setting and entree; I can't handle having to be on constant guard from bugs and dogwood spores blowing into my water glass.

So. If you're ever in the area and want to sit in cool, air conditioned comfort, sipping on a drink and maybe peeking through the curtains to check if the sun is still out, please stop by. I'll be on the couch, enjoying Summer my way.


  1. I hate eating outside at restaurants. Give me the A fucking C any day over that shit.

  2. I am a summer lovin' girl who does not care for the breezes of fall or the cold, dark, lovelessness of winter. Eh. I can tolerate spring if it's not too rainy. But summer? Summer is my love and I will not complain no matter how hot it gets, no matter how long it takes my husband to reinsert the window units (some years we simply DON'T), no matter how many places I sweat that don't usually bear moisture. I hate Snowmiser with a passion usually reserved for my period. Or ice cream with nuts. Or mosquitoes.

    I would love to cool down in your house, though, because by mid-July my house is in straight-up All Praise Satan temps. No one visits in summer because they may as well be outside. I think it's fine that you have agreed to accept your unwillingness to be summerized. It's precisely how I feel about winter. And my office. Also movie theatres.

  3. "They evolved so that we could embrace indoor seating."
    Bahaha. OMG, I love you.

    I'll admit that I loved patio weather so I could smoke my face off during my younger years, but since that's not part of my multitude of bad habits anymore (sniff sniff), I prefer the bug-free, wind-free indoors to eat my over-priced food.

  4. Sorry. Love summer, hate winter. Layers and damp and slush and ghastliness. But also, in New York, we walk or take the train or the bus, which means winter means a lot of jumping over three-foot mounds of black snow in order to get to the freaking grocery store. Phtooey. Of course, dining outside in NYC often means your table is pretty much right next to the garbage cans or the parked cars or the bus stop... But a nice garden in a quiet place with a glass of wine and a LOT of cheese and crackers? Bliss. For you, though, I'd eat inside...but could hte place at least have windows to the outside? : )

  5. I kinda sorta feel you. I do think nature is beautiful and would like to go out in it more, but I easily feel too hot and hate when I'm sweating profusely.

    It's totally OK if you don't wanna love on summer.

  6. I love summer, Suni.

    I'm like those people that finally get wheeled out after kept inside for years.

    I go outside and spread my arms and all.


  7. I love summer but I love winter more because winter means...Christmas! 'Course winter in Florida is the same as summer in Florida and breaking into a sweat while I pick out my Christmas tree is not my idea of a good time.

  8. P.S. I thought you'd appreciate that my captcha for the last comment was "hotdone."

  9. I hate summer, too. That makes two of us. Well, I hate Michigan summers. I do like summers elsewhere, like in the Western states, where it gets chilly at night and AC is not a must-have. I do not like the soupy atmosphere here that renders everything damp and smelly and makes my hair look like crap and my entire being feel like a dirty sponge. I'm mostly an autumn and winter girl.

  10. I usually get that excited, giddy feeling at the beginning of fall. I love fall. Hey, great to "see" you again, girl! I've been gone for a while (Kristy from Pampers and Pinot), but now I'm back! (Kristy at Love and Blasphemy now)

  11. Word. Summer is ass. Eating outside is for moose and rabbits. Just sitting at my son's baseball games results in under-boob sweat. Winter's not great either, but give me the shoulder seasons any day.


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