Monday, October 28, 2013

Hi, everybody!

Hi, Dr. Nick!*

Well. I won't bore you with smarmy apolopleas [my combination of apologies for not being around much and pleas to still be my friend], but I have missed you all.

I've been not at the top of my game, health-wise.nI fucked up my knee in the summer and was in a LOT of pain. It was taking literally all my energy to get through my work day, get home, and pretty much collapse until I went to bed. That kind of thing? Takes a toll on a person. I didn't really talk to anyone, because it seemed like too much. I did stuff, if I had to, but it was so draining that I spent the rest of my time sitting on my couch with an ice pack on my knee and a massaging heating pad on my hip, playing Candy Crush and watching reruns of TV shows I'd seen a million times. I even watched the NINTH season of Scrubs. AGAIN.
How bummed am I that Happy Endings is cancelled? SO BUMMED. Eliza Coupe - who was on Scrubs and then in Happy Endings - is truly a brilliant comedian.

Also, David Franco is light years sexier than his brother James. For reals, I would hit that repeatedly.

The new massaging heating pad replaced the old heating pad that was, conservatively, 15 years old. I continued to use it despite the fact that it would sometimes short out, meaning there would be either no heat or thermonuclear heat.  I got used to this, and actually enjoyed the thermonuclear heat blasts, but finally ended up ordering two new heating pads [a giant one and massaging one, because seriously? How do you say no to a massaging heating pad? You don't. You just don't.] when I realized that something electrical shorting out while it was on my body was probably not a good thing. Mostly because my knee was so fucked up and unbendable that I wouldn't be able to quickly get off the couch if it happened to catch fire.

I got the new heating pads and seriously - High Heat is lukewarm at best.  The massaging part? RIGHT ON. The heat? Not so much. That's been my focus lately. Lamenting the loss of a fire-hazard heating pad.

So that's been my past couple of months. Complaining about Things These Days and I'm Cold and Where Are My Slippers? I'm feeling better now, but am still kind of dull-witted. Yes, that is MARKEDLY different than usual. As we all know, I'm generally quite brilliant.

* Because I am Pavlov's dog when it comes to Simpson's quotes. Also, it wasn't until she died the other day that I realized the voice of Edna Krabaple and the secretary from the Bob Newhart Show were the same person. Loved Marcia Wallace in everything she did.  She was bad ass.


  1. Does this mean I have to part with my blow dryer that throws sparks?
    So glad you and your knee are back in action. xo

  2. Welcome back, Suniverse. I'm glad you do not mind the thermonuclear heat blasts. You'll be generating your own someday. At least, I am. But I don't mind them either. Beats being cold, which I am 95% of the time

  3. I sat on a heating pad to keep warm at a previous job because we didn't really have heat and couldn't have a space heater. I wondered about the vibrating heating pad. Wondered just how much vibrating it did. I was too cheap to buy one but if it was really good, it would be worth it!

  4. I want you better soon, girl, also: we know the real story, twerkaholic. xo

  5. Probably they don't make heating pads as hot as they used to. Because people would be like. "My heating pad is HOT! Lawsuit!"

  6. I am on the market for a heating pad myself... never thought of short circuits and such if it gets old, but like everything, i guess it's expected. I hope you feel better. I actually quite relate to your post myself.


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